I've commented on a few posts over the last week, but haven't formerly said hello. I'll try to give you the condensed form
I was first started on Zoloft when my daughter was about
18 months. I was very hesitant to start it and saw a counselor, Pdoc, and picked up a new primary doc before going on with it. I was irritable, over-tired, and basically single-painting my daughter because my husband wasn't that great with helping out back then. It worked for a number of years at 50 mg until I started getting discontinuation sx and was tapered and switched to cymbalta. This worked (30 mg) for about
a year until the same thing happened. I decided I would taper and take a break- let my mind reboot so to speak.
During my cymbalta taper, I was having marital issues and began counseling again. 2 weeks off cymbalta (and feeling pretty darn good physically) I was referred to the staff Pdoc who promptly put me on lamictal and straterra. I WISH I had trusted my gut and not started the lamictal. But I did. And escalated up to 100 twice a day over about
a year and a half. Lamictal made me very compulsive and I was so exhausted, physically, on it. I noticed some skin issues and decided it was time to say good bye to lamictal (the straterra was very short lived). That was also very hard, and the first time I experienced a panic attack was during this taper. Benadryl was a great friend.
I took my time and tapered over 6-7 mo. I had a beautiful moment where I felt so good and healthy. I could think clearly, I had energy. Then the anxiety started. I started having stomach issues, was convinced my liver or gall bladder was causing my increase in reflux and RUQ discomfort/fullness. All tests were normal and I still wasn't convinced. At the end of the summer 2012 my Pdoc wanted me to start Pristique and I pushed back. He said to take klonopin as needed. Having done a brief course with Xanax without incidence, I agreed. By Dec of 2012 I was taking .25-5 nightly.
2013 was a good year. I started running again. It helped my IBS and my anxiety. Towards the end of the year, I started to get depressed. It was an awful feeling.
January 2014 had me working a long stretch of nights (I'm an RN) so I decided I needed to start tapering off the klonopin so it would be easier to stay awake at night. I successfully tapered over 6 weeks and again had the grace period before all hell broke loose. I started getting dizzy and the anxiety returned full force. I tried a course of benedryl to settle the anxiety for about
two weeks until, one night, I was having racing HR, sweats, insomnia, and full on panic so I took the klonopin I had leftover and made an appt.
Over the course of last year, I had varying degrees of anxiety, my running suffered (even though i managed to complete a marathon) and I was all over he map on how I took my klonopin. In August, I made the decision to taper for real and it's been a long hard road. I cut my morning dose around Thanskgiiving and am now down to .25mg at bedtime and holding.
My main anxiety/fear surrounds my health. And I'm an RN! I see people in all states of health every day. It's gotten so bad that I don't want to look at their lab work because I compare it to my own. I used to LOVE being an RN. I LOVED learning a pts hx and being involved in their care. Now, just getting to work is a struggle. I do go, and I recently took on a new role as team leader which I'm failing miserably at. I'm really struggling with my IBS and GERD and my newest obsession is that what I'm taking for my reflux is causing me to have all these weird symptoms. Now, I have been on PPIs to some degree since highschool! Why would I have a problem now? I'm so frustrated!
I was working myself into a pretty good anxiety attack last night and ended up having a glass of wine. I don't have issues with alcohol, in fact, I enjoy wine and wine tasting, but I'm trying to abstain as much as possible while I taper. But last night, my litmus test to "am I dying of something" was "do I feel better after this glass of wine?" I did.
I don't remember why I started on this course 7 years ago. I do know that now, I don't know if I can function without these meds. I'm a member of another board which is very anti meds. But I'm here asking for advice or positive stories about
them. I really do think I'd still be on Zoloft if it hadn't gone sketchy on me. My Pdoc recommended Pristique, but I haven't heard many good things about
it. My PMD recommends starting with Effexor at a very low dose when I'm stabilized on the Klonopin. Thoughts? I have enough problems with body image and sex that I'd like to steer clear of lexapro. At this point, I could care less about
gaining weight since I've lost so much over the last few years.
This was long and I have so much more I could post, but I'm glad I found this board.