I truly cannot tell you how much my heart is breaking for you as I read through your posts. When I first developed my anxiety disorder I was going through almost the exact same thing as you. I really feel like we could cut and past my conversations 12 years ago with your posts and very little would be changed at all.
It is so hard to believe that something like anxiety could be doing this to our bodies. Could be making us think or feel the way we are. It just seems... impossible. But, it can. Check out this list of over 100 symptoms and sensations that anxiety alone can cause www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml#symptomslist
. In some ways I didn't want to believe it was anxiety. I remember once I got a test back negative and I started to cry, not from relief, but because I just wanted them to find what was wrong with me so they could treat me for it.
Therapy, the right medication dosage and combination, and a lot of work on my part really is what turned my life around. The silver lining to all this is what you are feeling right now is not permanent
. It does get better. It just takes time. Seek out as many resources as you can to try and find a way to get to see a therapist (particularly Cognitive Behavior Therapy) as it helps a lot. It takes 6 - 8 weeks before SSRIs like Celexa start to have a real big impact. Hopefully in the next few weeks you start to notice a change. It might be that you need a higher dose. I just upped from 20mg to 40mg. I am not a doctor though, so please follow their prescribing advice.
It sounds to me like you have had as many and more test done to rule out physical problems. At this point, hard as it is, we have to trust doctors and know that they have the experience and training to find illness. It is extremely unlikely that will all those tests they did find something wrong if there was something to be found.
HealingWell's resources are so wonderful and really might be able to give you some tools to help bridge the gaps while you wait for therapy and medication. Check them out www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206
Also, check out this one in particular /www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2_UfFIszkY
I hope nothing but peace and a quick recovery for you. I am so sorry for your suffering. Keep posting. People here understand and are here to support you.
Conditions: PTSD/GAD/Dysthymia & IBS-C
Treatment: Celexa 20mg, CBT Therapy, Meditation, Yoga, Klonopin .5 mg (as needed)
“A man is like a novel: until the very last page you don't know how it will end. Otherwise it wouldn't be worth reading.”
-Yevgeny Zamyatin, We