First of all, you are not a failure! You are the exact opposite. You have been fighting this all alone while raising three kids. Not many mom's with anxiety are able to do what you are doing!!!
I am so proud of you!
I cannot imagine how much you have to go thru each day without anyone's help. YOU ARE AMAZING and a great role model to other mom's with anxiety out there. I hope you can get the help you are seeking.
I'm sure there are counselors out there who can visit your house. Try googling with key words 'in-home counseling' + (the name of your state or area). They do have counseling services that can be done at home.