Posted 2/25/2015 2:30 PM (GMT -6)
First off, thank you to everyone who commented on my intro post. I decided to email my therapist and let her know that I was feeling very angry and hurt and that I needed to take a long break - which will most likely be a permanent one as I recover from what I feel is damage she has done.
In a lot of ways I feel like I've been brainwashed. I have all these "triggers" now that I never had before - my mind just isn't on straight, and I've been feeling so angry/depressed/and in a constant brain fog for weeks. When I think about her, I get so angry. I am frightened by this anger. I always used to be able to deal with stuff or move on pretty quickly but this is new and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I have an appointment with another therapist tomorrow to see what I can do to get this under control without medication - but I feel like the last therapist has planted the medication seed in my head so much that I'm being forced in that direction, especially with the way I currently feel. I feel like she has been pushing me into this corner the whole time and I didn't notice until the stress got to be too much. The way I currently feel, is not me, and I'm scared I won't be me again. I was full of energy and purpose before all this happened, now I spend almost all of my time brooding and feeling such rage. I don't know what to do anymore. :\