I will leave a link here to a very long post I made on Reddit; I'm struggling with numbness right now mentally, so I can't think of what else to say. Except that I would take on the weight of the world's problems if it would bring my only true friend back. She was my one source of comfort - I wish she could be in my arms now. She saved me from suicide and a lonely, goaless life. I don't want to accept her loss and forget her, but I'm already feeling like nothing happened. It's only been 12 hours! I have a photo of the last time I ever saw her, but I'm avoiding it on purpose.
She's left just as I've learned my father will lose his mobility due to multiple hernias, and my mother has an imcurable secondary cancer in her brain. I don't blame her for it, but my mind is trying to make me blame her. I'm so lonely and confused. I won't be sleeping tonight, becauase the last time I saw her alive, she was in my arms on this same bed. I CAN'T FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING THERE WHEN SHE WENT. I cry every time I remember her last lick of my nose, or when I saw her body and felt no reaction from her. I have the last song I sang her stuck in my mind on a loop.
I want to follow her...
Please help. I want the family member I love back. I touched her body and now I want to run back to it and never let her go. https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/3aq8gg/my_beautiful_baby_angel_has_gone/
Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 6/23/2015 9:41:24 AM (GMT-6)