SC is exactly right. Emotional fatigue as a result of the anxiety and stress you've been having for the past many months.
As odd as it sounds, this is actually the way the brain is healing itself. That's good news if you can believe it..
It's a very upsetting feeling- I know personally. Been there at various points & degrees, over the past year and a half. It's better now. I still feel it at times but it's easier to move past it. I don't get stuck there like I did.
The death/dying is absolutely anxiety. For me, I felt very abnormal & while I did not ever want to die or self harm, I felt like I was dying. Or that this suffering was worse than death.
When my psychiatrist would ask if I felt like self harming, I said "no but I feel like I am dying & i'd just like to go to sleep until this passes then wake up." He smiled real big and said he's heard that same statement too many times to count. That while it's extremely upsetting and the thought can get stuck in our head, with time and treatment, it will & does pass and that I'm not crazy, losing it or dying (bc I asked more than once if I was)!
Know that this too will pass. It really, truly will. You're actively pursuing your recovery and healing with the physical health concerns & the mental ones. That is the formula for recovery and you're doing it. You will absolutely find joy and "normalcy" again.
Ps: when I'd have hours/days of the DR (derealization), I described it as a numbing feeling and also like I was a stranger in my own familiar world). I didn't necc feel physically anxiety, nor depression. I felt stuck in a weird place betwixt the 2. I call it "The Twilight Zone" (my friends term who'd also had it during extreme times of stress. I thought I was the only person in my life who'd had this and when I started talking about
it, I heard a handful of "me too's!" which made me realize it's not uncommon and I wasn't an anomaly). I wonder how common it is but ppl don't talk about
it bc it's odd and hard to describe- like many may not have the words for it)?
You hang right in there bc you are going to be just fine!
Anxiety & Depression
"If you're going through hell, keep going."