Hello and welcome to the A/P!
I am sorry you are suffering with these fears currently.:( I know how this feels, and it is miserable.
Also...as you said, these worries are starting to rob you of your happiness and the quality of life you should be enjoying with your family...
...and when this happens, it is time to seek help.
As the others mentioned, therapy and self help
are two great places to start!Health anxiety
, either for yourself, or projected onto loved ones, is common, so know that you are understood here!
Many of us who struggled/struggle similarly have found great value in finding a therapist who can work specifically with you regarding your anxiety of illness/death. If you need a place to start looking...talking with your regular doctor and asking for a referral is a wise step.
Here also are some self help links
from our Resources
that you can get started on right away. They are really effective if you will commit to going through them, and putting the suggested practices into your daily regimen!
Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:
Helping health Anxiety
Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner
Also in the Resources are some book recommendations on treating health anxiety...and one of the books even has a chapter on the fear of death, specifically. Find the Resources at the top of the main forum page.
Last but not least...keep posting with us! We care, understand what you are going through...and support is key!
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT