Posted 4/27/2020 10:55 AM (GMT -6)
Hello again, I am glad to have found this site again. I lost my phone information in the last upgrade and lost the site information and I completely spaced the name, but I found it so I am glad.
Weird times we live in now. I guess I will start by saying my fiancée's father died on the first of April. Not related to the covid. I was actually the one who found him dead. It looked like he went in his sleep. I honestly thought he was sleeping when I found him. His arm was cold, but his back was warm. I couldn't tell and got my fiancée to help me because his father has been known to be a heavy sleeper and this wasn't the first time I have had to get him to wake him. But when he tried to turn him over, rigor had already set in.
He took it hard and I have had to be a support that I have never had to be before.
The next news is that my roommate lost his job in October and I have been trying to run a house of five(six for several months for a friend who wasn't a friend) by myself.
I am run down, but I have been able to keep working and finding side work for my fiancée to make extra cash for us. I will be honest, I went from 240lb to 170lbs now. It wasn't overnight but I am glad I have changed in that way. I didn't diet, I literally changed everything about how and what and when I ate. I exercise more and even more these last couple of months because of the pandemic. I help both my mom and my grandmother with shopping since they are both considered at risk.
Mom has settled down quite a bit. I down mince words with her as much, but I also found just distancing with her helps. She appreciates me more because she doesn't see or talk to me as much. Plus she has seen how my brother who lives with my grandmother doesn't take care of her or feed her or shop for her, so she doesn't have an issue at all with me shopping for her because she certainly doesn't.
People helping actually surprises me. We have had a lot of support from people offering side jobs or just helping us with a little money.
I work at a gas station so I am an essential worker but to be honest it is exhausting having to work right now and support a grieving fiancée. He is getting better, but it is definitely a strain on me doing everything including going through paperwork for his father since his father wasn't very organized. Not to mention he was supposedly adopted but can't find any paperwork for his adoption anywhere. Everything was in his father's name so Bill paying is going to get weird. I paid for everything though, just in his name.
I am still assistant manager and I have been offered to work in my own store, but I need a car of my own and that also requires me to get a license. I have never actually learned to drive a car. Not to mention the car we do have is on its last legs so we are in a tight spot right now.
I'm not ok. I don't even know what to say when people ask. I am just trying to go day by day right now. It doesn't help I have a heart condition and my fiancée is terrified of losing me too since he doesn't have any family either.
I am glad to have found this again though. I can admit when I need to work through some heavy stuff.