Hey dear Blu!
I understand how you feel.
I don't want to sound rude you know, because she is your mother but from the things you've posted I started thinking that she is taking some things on you, on purpose. Maybe its time for you to have a serious talk with your mom?
Last week when my mom visited my house we had a fight and this time I
openly mentioned about
her "stomach ache" related to her children all her life. This time I didn't keep my honest thoughts away from her and reminded her own insecurities. I told her this is her problem and I asked her to leave us be. Told her that we are not going to live as she wants, whether she sees it as a failure or not... She didn't understand a word of what I told her, but one thing she knows now is that I am going to cut ties with her if she continues like this.
She thinks herself a failure because her children are failures(!) lol - I heard millions of things about
my weight and my education (because I wasn't a lawyer or engineer, etc, but I was educated in Fine Arts). Once I burned my hand because of her (she kept the plate too close to the frying pan and asked me to take it to table) then she told me "You can't even carry a plate" instead of saying "ow, you burned your hand, let me take a look"...
So I'm dealing with such s**t for a long while now so I understand how you feel.
It's not that they are bad people, but there is something crawling inside them regarding their insecurities, anger and regrets in life and they just want to relieve themselves by placing their kids to a perfect life they never managed to live.
Someone has to remind them this is not gonna happen.
If you understand what I mean...
EDIT: By the way these days I am talking to my psychiatrist about
how to deal with such people in life. So
if I come up with something interesting I will share.
My psych told me that such issues doesn't show that this person hates you and/or vice versa. You and your mom love each other but at the same time clash so much.
It's just finding a way to deal with them, my doctor said.
<3 Good luck
Age is just numbers *cough*OMG 40 NOW*cough* -.-
Panic disorder (Recovered)
Ongoing psychotherapy - talk therapy.
Post Edited (Rrakkma) : 6/30/2016 1:23:39 PM (GMT-6)