Posted 7/6/2016 5:19 PM (GMT -6)
Yeah, I think indecision lives in anxiety and depression.
Even as a kid, at about age 12, I was leaving the fair grounds, and I went to a booth near the exit, where they sold things.
I was seeing items for sale, and being pressured to go out the exit 30-40 feet away. I was betwixted and between.
I was looking at a pair of small, cheap binoculars (glasses?) and I couldn't decide if I should buy them or not. The sales person was pushing me. They cost 50 cents, many years ago.
In a panic I bought them. I was a worrier, over-thought things as you said, I was not really anxious or depressed at age 12, I was under pressure and I did worry about things.
When I got home from the fair, on a chilly, overcast 5 p.m. time of the day, I rem. climbing one of my favorite trees, and at the top of this tall tree, I rested and thought,
"Should I have bought the binoculars? Was that a waste of 50 cents? Those are cheap binoculors. Why did I buy them? I wasted 50 cents. That guy pressured me."
And my feelings were, "What's wrong with me?"
One time as an adult when depressed, I was in my car going to a destination 100 miles away, and I couldn't decide if I wanted to go there or not, and if I could function when I got there, and if I could maintain by staying where I was.
I would turn around every 5 miles. I was in heavy depression with no meds, as I recall.
Even now, years later, and on the right meds for depression and manic-depression, I realize how much easier it is to make decisions when I'm not depressed.