Posted 7/20/2016 5:25 PM (GMT -6)
Hey all, the last time I wrote I was nearing the end if my pregnancy and was afraid of how I'd cope when the baby arrived. Well, she's here and I am 5 days postpartum. It's been rough since being home, I've been dealing with the baby blues and crying a lot. It's strange because I'll feel completely overwhelmed and anxious then I'll feel filled with joy and hope the next minute.
I know my hormones are still adjusting and that I can't assume that I'll have postpartum anxiety by the time my hormones level out, but getting through every day is a bit of a struggle. I have no appetite, I'm tired all the time, I sob at the drop of a dime, and I can't get out of my own head.
I'm holding out hope that it gets better. I love my daughter so much and all I want is to be able to cherish these early days with her and to form a strong bond. I won't hesitate to seek help if it gets beyoND my comfort zone and I'm so lucky to have such an amazing and supportive husband.
I have a feeling that I should seek medication and therapy anyways, since anxiety has played a role in my life for years. I would like to live every day without a cloud over me telling me why I shouldn't enjoy life. I perused therapy during the early months of my pregnancy to help me cope with my new reality but quit going after a few sessions, feeling that I was in control. I didnt ask about medications because I didn't want to medicate whole pregnant.
Now that I'm not pregnant anymore, I think it's time to be at my best no matter what it takes to get there. I'm not going to let anxiety take me over like it did just 2 years ago. I have a blessed life and nothing to worry about, my mind and body just need to realize that too.
AHH sweet release. I had to let it out!