I agree that being honest and upfront with your friend would be the best thing to do if you end up going out together. Though it may initially feel awkward to bring up...in the long run, I think it will remove the pressure regarding a possible attack. Also, as Repwed said...if he is a good friend, he will understand and accept everything about
Regarding the decision to even go at all is a little more difficult....
Since you are living with your step children/his children, there is a matter of decorum and respect that you will want to uphold. Therefore, I think coming right out and talking about
this with them is the best approach.
Gauge their reaction and see how it makes them feel. If they seem uncomfortable with it, then maybe now is not the right time to take this step.
This is NOT to say that they can dictate your actions or have control over you...but rather, just a show of respect at this point for your mutual loss.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide...and please know we support you either way!!
Hugs and high fives,
P.S. Please don't feel like you need to e-mail me....I am simply always here for you and wanted you to know that with my invitation to write at anytime.;) Also, I hope you saw the 'Thread for Those Grieving a Recent Loss' post that I recently added. I had you and a few others in mind, who might want to share together...?