I am sorry you had a rough night.
I am also sorry to hear that your hubs had to go again...I know that is a challenge for you.
Can you try to get ahead of the anxiety and make a plan to keep yourself busy and distracted? If you can schedule your day with activities...even if it is something as simple as playing a certain game at a certain time, or watching a movie...ect. it will help. I always do better with a schedule, myself.
Then...maybe you can make a bigger plan.
Finding out the next time your husband is going to be home for an extended stretch of time....perhaps you can make that the goal time of starting your medication?
I really believe that getting the anxiety managed will be key in all of this.
Just some thoughts...
...and encouragement. Keep posting so we can keep you in support.
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT