I am so sorry you are having a rough time at the moment.
Can you dig deep and try some coping skills to get your mood turned around and reset things for the positive?
Using positive mantras, writing a gratitude list of the present (to counteract thoughts of the past) as well as meditation and breathing exercises can all help.
Wishing you relief...check in when you can, okay?
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT