Oh my goodness...what an insufferable person. :/ I am really sorry that you have to deal with this person by default...but unfortunately, you will just have to endure, for as long as your mom continues to see him.
That however does not mean that you have to spend unnecessary amounts of time with him present...
...so I would be up front with your mom, and make sure that time spent with her...lunches, shopping dates, informal get togethers, ect...are with her alone!
For things such as holidays/special events, you will need to mentally prepare yourself for the chance of unpleasantness...and maybe be armed with some quips that will give him a hint (hopefully) that his remarks are unwelcome.
I think K should be exempt if her feelings were hurt to the point of not wanting to chance a repeat experience with the remark he made to her (unacceptable!!!!!)...
...so giving her the out on the next necessary gathering would be a good idea.
Our former pastor used to call difficult people 'EGR's'. Extra Grace Required. You may need to just learn to take some deep breaths, and think EGR, EGR, EGR, EGR!!!!!
Of course there is a time to speak up as well...there are some times that there is not enough grace in the world, right?
I wish you the discernment to know the time for each approach!
(((hugs))) to you and K!
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 5/19/2017 3:41:20 PM (GMT-6)