Partner with Anxiety

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/27/2017 1:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,

I hope I am in an OK place to post about this. If I'm not, please tell me to get lost and I'll skedaddle out of here as fast as my short legs will carry me.

I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man. And when I say new, we've only been officially a couple for a month. We met through an online dating site in mid-June, went out on our first date at the end of June, then continued to talk and see each other through late July, when we made things official. A couple weeks ago, I noticed that he seemed a little 'off.' We had made plans to have a date weekend this weekend, but on Friday he cancelled on me. Actually, he asked if it would be OK if we didn't do anything this weekend, as his doctor had given him Prozac to help calm his anxiety and overthinking and he just wasn't feeling himself.

I was understanding and told him that I completely understood. I have actually been to counseling off and on through my adult life for mild anxiety and depression. I have never been on medication for either one, so sometimes I feel like a fraud when I hear others talk about their anxiety and/or depression and how they need medication to keep themselves on an even keel. (He does not know about my counseling yet. I was going to wait until we were a little more attached to each other, since I didn't know how he would react to that information.)

Here is where my question comes in: What would be some of the best things I can do to help support him through this? I know that I cannot help or fix him and, honestly, I don't see him as someone who needs to be 'fixed' anyway. I'm actually really proud of him for seeking the help he needs instead of just trying to deal with it until it overwhelms him. I know that he is going to just have to get through his body adjusting to the Prozac and that will take time. Neither he nor I have any interest in breaking up. Right now, he's wanting his space, so I'm giving it to him, with just a quick check-in each day to say hello and see how he's doing.

I posted about this on a general health forum that is a sub-forum on another board I belong to. One poster on there basically told me I needed to "keep my boyfriend options open" and make sure I have an exit strategy ready in case I need to suddenly bail. To me, that sounds like I should be expecting our relationship to fail. I know that this could all end up being too much for him and he could decide to break up with me. But, at least right now, I have no intentions on ending this with him.

Any thoughts or suggestions on what I can do as we navigate not only this new relationship, but he learns to navigate and manage his anxiety as well?

Thanks in advance!

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27286
   Posted 8/27/2017 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of the rough start up time that your bf is going through currently. However, I am so glad you've posted...and I hope he knows how lucky he is to have a supportive and caring woman as his new gf!

The effects of starting an A/D can be really challenging! He may feel not only psychologically (increased anxiety) unwell...

...but also physically icky, as an A/D can initially have a whole host of side effects which affect the body.

The good news is that it is all temporary...and he will likely end up with an Rx that performs well for him.

However, that means during this time (next few weeks) that you may have to continue to be patient and understanding...and to not take this personally in any way...he just needs time to adjust and feel better...and he will. smile

You are both welcome to post with us anytime...and please check out our Resources (and point them out to him too!) filled with great self help suggestions.

Best to you both!

Scaredy Cat

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/27/2017 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for the welcome! I feel it is a positive thing that, even though he is needing some space right now, he is still good about communicating each day. This should not be about me at all, but it does help alleviate some of my fears that he is just going to disappear on me.

I've been spending part of this weekend online, researching information about Prozac, as well as looking up different articles about how anxiety can affect a romantic relationship. I know that this could have stopped our relationship before it even really got going, but the fact that he chose to reveal something like this to me so early on, I think, shows that we're building a strong foundation to grow on. Which is even more important now that I know he has the anxiety to struggle with!

This morning he said he has been feeling very up and down, and his head was hurting today as well. It hurts me to know that he's hurting, so I'm very much working on self-care for myself this weekend as well.

I'll make sure to check out the resources that are mentioned on here!

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