Some brief history since I'm new - I've been diagnosed with GAD and depression. Have had some nasty tangles with health anxiety in the past. Am currently taking fluoxetine (40mg) and am not currently doing therapy, but have been before. Have also had courses in CBT, which I'm trying to use to almost no avail right now.
I'm a member of another anxiety forum where rabies threads have been running rampid and I was fine, but then I guess I got triggered.
I just moved into a house with one of my best friends this past weekend. The house had some problems that delayed our moving in - namely, fleas - but the pest people came and took care of that.
On one of the pest man's visits, I pointed out some droppings we'd seen outside, wondering if they were mice droppings. He seemed puzzled and said they definitely weren't from mice - now I'm starting to wonder if they were bat droppings!? There were only a few and they were definitely outside, on the windowsill under a window awning. Definitely no bats there now, though.
The house also has a fireplace that the landlord swore he had checked out. This was on the insistence of my father, who worked in the health department and had dealt with rental properties that had bats previously.
We have NOT seen a bat in the house, at all, and I sleep with my door closed. The door doesn't shut tightly (and apparently bats can get in through tiny cracks), but coupled with the fact that I haven't been sleeping well at night, I'm trying to rationalize that there's just no way a bat could slip in, bite me in one of the times I happened to be asleep, and slip back out unnoticed.
My friend/roommate is sick now with a sore throat/lost voice. I now also have a sore throat. Neither of us have a fever. I do feel generally pretty achy and crappy.
I'm trying to use CBT to challenge my fears, because it would be pretty rare (I think) for this to actually be rabies. For one thing, rabies is rare. It's not likely I'd have contracted it and be showing symptoms within days of moving into the house - especially since there are no clear signs of bats. It would be especially rare for both of us to have contracted it at the same time.
But..ugh. I'm so scared - maybe because it's such a scary disease? I keep thinking I've sealed my fate, that I'm sick and there's no coming back from this now. And I'm so tired of all the rationalizing and just tired in general.