Posted 1/5/2019 11:38 AM (GMT -6)
it's ya girl- hypocondriac back at it again! so about a week ago i started throwing up. i was extremely nervous about the flight i was going to have back home from california, and threw up my breakfast and wasn't too hungry after that. it happened the day at the airport during my layover too, and i thought that once i was home, i would feel much better. that night, even, my fear of driving didn't even effect me- i drove fifteen minutes to my friend's house. the next morning, i threw up, and i spiraled. i used to overeat (because of my fear of passing out and that i simply wish i weighed more). yesterday i didn't throw up and i felt great- i had gotten home from therapy and my doctor said we could FINALLY get on my medication for my anxiety. but today i woke up and threw up after eating an ORANGE.
im horrified. now im eating less. and im worried that.. im hoping its not something more serious than just my anxiety acting up with me. im worried that after each time i vomit, i become weaker and all the food i ate, the very little of it, is just gone from my body. i hate my fear of passing out. and i know i could go days without eating before even feeling weak enough to collapse. and i drink plenty of water. but ive become homebound, and wish i had never gone to california. i feel weakened. i feel horrified. i dont even want to go see a doctor (because i hate being out in public. im not even living my life anymore. i can't find a pocket of time in the day where im not nervous, even just sitting at home. im not exaggerating when i say im in a constant panic of not eating enough, overthinking, causing myself to stress, etc. please help me. thank you (,: