For the most part, my pattern of anxiety involves:
(1) doing or saying something (for example, making a work-related presentation, or having an important conversation with someone, or making some comment in a public setting, or maybe sending an email message),
(2) afterward, intensely regretting what I did or said, and worrying about
the potential consequences,
(3) then replaying the events -- what I said, for example -- over and over and over again, in my mind, and also replaying what I should have
said, maybe a hundred or a thousand times, and
(4) castigating myself for my mistake/error of judgment/stupidity/failure to adequately prepare, etc.
When this happens -- as it does far too often -- I cannot think about
anything else. The thoughts and worry and regret and self-recrimination are with me all day. Sleep, if I can manage to fall asleep, is the only respite. The minute I wake up, my thoughts return to the dumb mistake I made, how I could have done it better, etc.
I have tried various ways to deal with this, including CBT (with two different, very well qualified psychologists), reading various books about
anxiety, doing various exercises, reading forums, and even trying meditation. Through all of this, I have found some temporary relief -- and a better understanding of my thought patterns, including the related biochemistry. But this stuff keeps happening. It is the same pattern over and over again; only the specific details change. I am still able to function, but this pattern is extremely distressing and certainly impairs the quality of my life.
If any of you have any insights about
this, I would be interested.
And if any of you suffer from the same sort of pattern of anxiety (or obsessive thinking), I would be particularly interested to hear from you. It can be helpful to compare experiences with those who suffer in the same way...
Post Edited (medved) : 1/6/2019 8:09:16 PM (GMT-7)