Hello and welcome!
I am so sorry to hear of your suffering with anxiety due to extreme feelings of guilt you have. I can sense from your post that you feel very isolated and helpless that there is hope for you to be forgiven.
You mention God...do you believe in a higher power? If so, then you know that you have already been forgiven if you are remorseful and have asked for mercy. Do you have a pastor/priest that you can get more reassurance from? If so, I do recommend talking to him/her so that you can be free of this burden. (and btw, if you have been told that can't be forgiven, then you should seek another spiritual advisor immendiately!)
Another step you will want to take is to make ammends to the person you have wronged. If you can't do this in person, writing a letter to them is as cathartic and healing. You need not send it. Simply writing out your apology will suffice in lightening your guilt.
Finally, you can look into treating your anxiety with the help of your doctor, therapist and self help. As Hibee mentioned, self help can be found in our Resources at the top of the main forum page. There are links there with exercises and methods to relieve panic attacks.
We are here for you as well. Come talk with us anytime. We understand, care and support is key!
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 1/18/2019 10:09:13 PM (GMT-7)