If you're feeling happy, you're probably thinking that the present as well as your future looks good.
If you're feeling dreadful, very nervous, and panicky, then maybe you're thinking that not only is the present bad, but your future looks bad too (not to say that your future actually looks bad).
Maybe that's why you feel suicidal only when you're feeling dread and panicky, TPatrick30.
It's just my theory.
Exactly. So basically I can be happy and feel fine 364 days of the year and not have any of those thoughts, but the minute I have that anxiety attack the feeling of dread and those weird thoughts come.
To me it’s just your mind not wanting to be in the situation at that time leading to weird intrusive thoughts.
Then I’m happy and fine for several months without those thoughts and the little anxiety that comes from time to time is easy to manage. Then a bad one hits and in that moment those weird feelings come.
The hardest part IMO is feeling guilty about
it for the next week or so and obsessing why I thought like that in that moment.
That’s why I added the post that I don’t think of ways to do it, I just feel like I could be stuck in that moment of panic forever and that dread sets in.