Hibee, I am glad you had such nice time with your brother and got to meet them finally.
Karen, I dislike hot weather myself so I am feeling happy for you
Today when I talked to my mom I used that chance to look at shingles scars behind my leg. I was like "*** it, I look at it now or I will never do that." then I did it without thinking and I didn't feel bad.
I actually realized that such behaviors are sort of ritual like things in order to avoid some emotions or avoid pretty much anything that I can't/couldn't face. I guess it's a sort of coping mechanism.