Posted 9/27/2020 2:15 PM (GMT -7)
I might have OCD or GAD, depending on who you ask. Maybe both.
This is my usual pattern: I do something, then later I regret it, then castigate myself for it, and worry intensely about the consequences. (I also tend to ruminate; that is replay the events over and over and over again in my mind)
I’ve suffered from this for more than a decade, episodically. But these days, I am going through a particularly bad stretch which has now been going on for about 15 months.
Some of the things I worry about are health related. But other stuff too.
I’ve tried therapy, with a highly regarded (and very expensive) psychologist, medication, meditation and a couple of other things. Nothing has worked. For now, I am off the medication because it was not helping. I do have Klonopin and Xanax, but I take those only on extremely rare occasion, and then in very small doses, because I do not want to get addicted
Exercise provides a short term temporary reprieve. But an hour later, the anxiety is back again. When I am hard at work, I also get a reprieve from the anxiety. But that’s not a great solution because I really don’t wanna work 12 hours a day seven days a week!
In many ways, I am very fortunate. I have a good job, enough money that I do not have to worry about money, a nice house, a great family, friends, etc. but the intense and almost ever present anxiety that I suffer from makes it hard for me to enjoy my life. And despite trying I’ve not been able to find a solution