OCD, PMDD and dealing with a narcissistic discard

I once saw a TV show on scuba divers who went into sunken boats. And some of them would get into the vessel and couldn't find their way back out, going backwards,

One of the commentators who was a scuba diver said, "Once you get into the first level of trouble, start backing out." Meaning, don't get into one more level of difficulty than you can handle. If you get in past your limit, you might be in real trouble, is the way I interpreted it with problems in general.

It sounds like you're in about 3 or 4 levels of trouble. I mean, it's pretty easy to understand why you're having a difficult time. One of those levels might be difficult enough, but 3 or 4?

I think if you can deal with each of them separately and be positive that you can solve it, it might help. Can you be positive about each one?

As far as getting dropped by a narcissist type, I was dropped at about age 20 by a girl who just used me to get into a group until she could be comfortable with that. She very coldly contacted me, used me to get into the group, then very coldly dropped me. I think she was cold, never thought of the term narcissist.

It was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, and maybe you. After she dropped me, I saw her going after bigger fish, probably seeking after the lawyer/doctor type. In a way, the loser may have been the last guy in the chain who she married, and found out a year or two later what kind of person she was.

You sound like you've already figured this guy out, with his narcissistic tendencies, and his narcissistic discard, which I'm reading says is the person he first covets, then treats badly, then he drops for another love interest.

Did he treat you badly toward the end of the relationship?

Hi Jennifer,

Welcome to HealingWell.

I am sorry you are having flashbacks from the relationship. I think that it would help to try to find other things to think about. Are there any projects you like to do?

This person isn't even worth thinking about. Though maybe you want some sort of closure. I feel he isn't worth your time or thought.

Do you go to therapy? Have you talked about it there?

Best wishes.

Hugs, Karen...

You're probably doing pretty good, considering all you're going through.

As we've already determined, you're probably better off without this guy.

You're saying you were seeing this guy for 4 years? That is going to be tough to get over.

As has been asked, are you seeing a therapist? Is someone helping you with your OCD?

For him to have replied to your correspondence in such a hard manner at such a hurtful time of your life, seems to indicate that somebody hurt him real bad, and he's now trying to lash back at somebody else.

But for you to have dated him for 4 years, there must have been something there. Did you notice anything during your relationship about his behavior? Is this disrespect a pattern of his? He could come flying back to you when his present girlfriend dumps him. As the song says:

"One fine day, you're gonna miss me,
And a, one find day, you'll wanna kiss me,
And a, one fine day, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone."

Hear it on: Youtube.com

You'll probably be dating somebody pretty soon and that will help you forget this person.
There's also the song:

"Got along without you before I met you, gonna get along without you now.
"Got along without you before I met you, cause you didn't love me anyhow."

Again, are you getting any help with your OCD and with this relationship situation?

Good for you!

Now you can start a new chapter in your life.

It does take time, but keep moving forwards.

Hugs, Karen...