Hi all. It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Four days ago I gave birth to a handsome boy, our first child.
Ugh, my anxiety started as soon as I got an epidural. I had worried the idea of not being able to feel a large portion of my body would make me anxious, and it did. After delivery when the majority of delivery craziness had calmed down I was sitting on the bed and just felt anxiety kick in. Worrying why my leg hasn’t started to get more feeling back into it when the other one had; was something wrong? Did the anesthesiologist hit something and now I’m not going to get feeling back? Of course my mind started racing and I just felt totally taken over by panic. My head felt funny, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone in the room, my heart was racing and I felt like I couldn’t swallow
I was terrified I was going to pass out when I never have an have no idea what it feels like. I was so embarrassed when the nurse asked what was wrong and said she would get the dr to come in and talk to me. I didn’t want to talk I felt like I couldn’t I was in such a whirlwind of worry. After my husband comforting me and time passing I felt better and came “out of” my attack. I knew in my head the anxiety from the stupid epidural is what I threw me into this anxiety attack but I couldn’t talk myself out of feeling it and worrying at the time. I shared with my nurse, now that my pulse rate was back to a normal number, that I have a history of anxiety attacks and that I was worried about
the after birth time as it’s my first child and I know my body feels so many different ways. She explained of course it would, over the past 2 days of labor and delivery it’s like my body was hit by a Mack truck or id run a marathon. My legs feeling weak and shaky from being pulled back so far and hard during birth was the explanation I knew but couldn’t shake, something must be really wrong with me for my legs to feel this way still a few days after giving birth. My chest feels heavier and when I think about
it I notice it’s putting me into anxiety mode again, but like she said my breasts have grown so much getting ready for baby and they are heavier which will make my chest feel like it’s harder to breathe sometimes. ALL of these things I’m feeling she said are normal as my body adjusts to what it just went through, along with sleep deprivation and this anxiety, making me feel and recognize everything happening in my body even more. I’m so sorry for the super long post but I’m hoping other women with anxiety disorders who have given birth can share some of their thoughts and feelings they had and how they dealt best. I’m thankful my husband is home until June as I don’t know if I could do all this alone right now. Anyone who could share their experience with similar situation would be so appreciated. Thank you in advance. Worrying over every feeling anxious mom over here