Coping with depression due to chronic pain at a young age

I do have back pain. On my chiropractor’s chart of 12 pictures showing deteriorating back problems, my chio said mine was the worst.

I go to the chio about once every week or two. To get in and out of my high bed 6 times a night with diabetes and bathroom trips, someone said use a step-stool and it helped.

When my back gets bad, I use ice gel packs to cool the inflammation and it helps. I find laying on my left side for a few minutes or more throws my back to my left side. If the pain is on my right side, it’s more sore and bothersome and I can expect 6 trips a night to the freezer for the ice packs to reduce the inflammation.

I try to keep the pain on the left side of my back, by leaning and bounding on my left foot, to throw the pain to the left side of my spine for less to no pain.

When your back is partway repaired, you lift weights. When my bad back was in a good place, I let a child talk me into jumping on the trampoline for several years. Now years from that, I think I may be paying for it. A positive attitude could have gotten me out of that.

I also have an ear condition called hyperacusis or ringing in the ears from going to the military rifle range with no ear protection. When an ear doctor explained my condition and gave me a written excuse not to go on the firing range anymore, I didn’t have the ego strength, confidence or positive attitude to get that written excuse to the right person and avoid going on the range anymore.

That’s one reason why I stress having a positive attitude here, because I didn’t.

But with a negative attitude like I had, the pain just keeps on coming. When my first grandchild was born, I was going to jump in and keep him while his parents were in high school even though I knew he could scream. He screamed, which was the last day I kept him. Again, a positive attitude could have prevented that.

Notice, the difficulty keeps following me as long as I have a negative attitude.

What happened after he screamed? I didn’t drive a car for about 27 years because the car engine was now too loud.

I also have ringing in the ears from the noise and they told me to learn to live with it.

So, I was in an Al-Anon meeting telling of my troubles and the lady beside me was listening to me and said, “Oh, you were having a Pity Party. We’ve all done that.” She talked me out of that and I never had another Pity Party after that.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor?

No, I am not seeing a chiropractor because spinal manipulation was not recommended for me (and my physical therapist is a chiro as well and he strongly advised against it. He is also a spine specialist so I trust him).
Yes, I am seeing a therapist and she is helping me a lot to manage the anxiety and depression! My support system is also great thankfully; they let me vent, talk things out and help me in other ways. In addition, I have been becoming closer to God during this time and He is the source of hope in my life. I know I will have a testimony of healing one day! You’re totally right that depression does not help with the pain, so I am doing my best to express my emotions, not get stuck in them, and stay positive. Thank you for your support!