My long Panic Attack Road

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 9/13/2006 12:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone,

I like many of you know the uncomfortable and very frustrating feeling of panic attacks and depression. I have been suffering with them for 2 years now and was perfectly healthy before this time.

I think we all remember our first panic attack when you feel like the whole world is gonna cave in, like you have no place to run and your stomach leaps to your throat like you're gonna be sick. I am in such fear of vomiting in public it is unbelieveable. There were many time periods that I would only leave the house to go to appointments and nothing else. The anxiety drained me of my social and educational life.

Many times we've tried to explain to the many many many doctors I've seen that its not all in my head and that something is wrong with me but they shrug it off as Anxiety, give me meds and say come back in 6-8 weeks and tell me how its going. Its so FRUSTRATING to hear that all the time when all you want to do is get better right this minute so you can go back to having the life you once had.

I've been on about 42 different things in the past 2 years to treat my symptoms of :

panic attacks
stomach aches
pain all over

I mean the list goes on and on, I dont mean to be a downer so I'll stop with that right there. LOL.

But I definately know the frustrating and darkened moments when panic attacks hit at the most random times, even if you're not in a stressful situation, or you're lying in bed at 3 am and it just automatically hits you. That was the worst for me, getting up at 3 am feeling like I was under a waterfall and I was shaking and it was just aweful. I didnt know what to do. My mother had to help calm me down and give me more medicine. I did and we didnt have to go to the ER like I very commonly said I wanted to go.

Now dont get me wrong, The ER is great, but all they can do for you is drug you up and send you home. Just like if you broke a leg, give you meds and send you home to heal.

That brings me to a very good point however. Anxiety is very much like a broken leg or arm, its a very big handy cap that you just sometimes cant deal with. So often we shelter ourselves and hide becuase this physical handycap robs us of our lives, and our energy that people always ask if we're okay. I, I dont know if most people do this too, would very often say I was fine but inside I was a wreck. I couldnt go places, I couldnt do things. It got so bad that I had to drop out of school and be homeschooled because I was so handycaped. I couldnt even sit through a 90 minute movie in a theatre without getting a panic attack. I was just ready to cry almost all the time becuase it was so hard.

I thought doctors knew everything, and to this day I think they are good, but only with the easy things : Colds, flu, bronchitus, etc. When it comes to complex things, They throw up their hands and write it off as somthing common and cant be fixed. Its unfortuneate but that's what happened to me. I just hope we find somthing that will work very very soon for me.

Sorry if most of this just rambles on and on. haha, I often dont make sense, so set me straight if I dont. tongue

Love always,
~Annie~ (16 years old)

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2006 12:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Annie, I read this and thought that's exactly how I feel most of the time.

Something a little off topic but I had gall stones for the longest time and they kept writing it off as panic attacks. They would drug me up in the ER but never do anything really to help. It was until it became so bad they had to remove my gallbladder that they admitted anything was actually wrong with me. It costed me alot of pain, a pretty serios surgery and about 4 weeks of pain from recovery.
So I agree with you, doctors don't really take the time anymore to really examine people to find out what's wrong with them

Take Care

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 280
   Posted 9/13/2006 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
I wish you lived near me and could go to my doctor. She is wonderful. There is help out there, but unfortunately sometimes it takes a bit of looking to find the right one.

We do understand the anxiety and panic attack problems.

God bless you. You will be in my prayers.
Adopt a retired racing greyhound

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/13/2006 4:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Annie hello and welcome you make perfectly good sense to me and I can understand everything you are are good at writing your problems down I think your biggest problem is finding a doc that will listen to you and I mean really listen to what 'annie " has to say and hear her every word about her every symptom, ache, and pain as those aches and pains are real as can be and you will see most of do get them associated with our A/P.There are good docs out there I to am blessed with a great one that listens and knows my problems and knows me very well .........Maybe just a suggesstion to your mom to help you find another Doc and I wish you all the best and gope you will continue to post here you have found a fantastic support group that od understand you and what you are saying and going thru ......Keep us posted take care and God Bless.......Lyn
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 9/13/2006 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   

Firstly, Welcome to HW. We have a wonderful family here and we are glad to add you as part of it. You will find much support and advice here.

Nextly, I am sorry you are going through all of this it IS a long rough road (but it hasn't killed us yet). You will find struggles and successes here. I do agree with Lyn you might want to consider looking for a new doc. It is a rough road but hang in there!. Just holla if you need something.

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 9/13/2006 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I figured I'd get replies but not this fast. haha. I'm so glad you are here to talk.

When I said many many doctors, over the past 2 years, I've seen 17 and still growing. I've been all over the state and if we have to we'll go out of state.

I've seen just about everyone it seems.
The family doctor said she doesnt know what to do with me, The psychologist and the psychiotrist just tell me to take my meds and breathe. Good advice but doesnt always work.

The only problem is that I'm 16 and this problem started at 14 and alot of people wouldnt take me and stuck me in pediatric settings when I needed a person that looked at it like it was an adult problem.

We'll see where it goes from here.

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/13/2006 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Annie, hang in there. My mom suffered from anxieties and it to took part of her life away. She had many achs and pains. She finally started reading books on Anxieties and that helped her. She also found a doc that she contacted by mail that helped her. One book said that stress chips away at you slowly. Once you are phisically weak enough, the anxiety attackes come. The book suggested improving her diet, working out to get stronger. While that alone did not cure her, it improve her outlook and gave her the strength to fight her anxieties. There is a lot of information out there, keep searching and reading. You are not alone and you are normal. We all have fears, stress and anxieties. Everyone does their best to cope. Your mom seems to believe in you since she has taken you to so many doctors. Be patient, you are much further along the path of recovery than you realize.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 9/22/2006 11:27 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with everything that you said and you said it so well. I'm sorry you are going thru this at such a young age. It seems really unfair.
Although i don't usually get a lot of responses to my posts (i usually jump in wanting everyone to recognize that we should be looking for a cure), I just can't accept going thru the rest of my life feeling like this. I firmly believe we have a physical disorder that makes us feel bad all the time and since the symptoms are so intense, it makes us feel like we're losing our minds.
I don't think it's been researched enough.
I'm willing to coordinate with anyone that wants to participate (i'll check with the mods first), and contact docs who are willing to research us. I think if we were all checked thoroughly, or those of us that have had it for years with daily pain, they might start finding answers.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 279
   Posted 9/22/2006 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   


I have oftened wondered how much research is being done on A/P.  You always hear of research for cancer and other physical diseases, but not much about research on A/P...

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/6/2006 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone,

Just updating my case. Turns out I dont have Lyme's diease after all.... I've got somthing that seems far worse but I think I'm just exagerating. lol.

I have Cryptosperidium - A water born parasite that lives in your intestinal track. They close down pools, lakes, rivers, oceans, places were this could be becuase its extremly hard to kill and can live in harsh enviroments like Chlorine pilled pools for days. That's the main sorce of my problem. But i've got other stuff too. To give you perspective: People with AIDS, HIV or weak immune systems have died from this bacteria.

I'm allergic to Soy products, which I didnt think would be so bad, but its in EVERYTHING it seems. Commercial breads, peanutbutters, frozen dinners, protein bars that I'm so fond of... basically very high protein foods.

I also have Leaky Gut with most likely Leaky brain syndrome. I need supliments to support and repare my digestive system. I'm also boarderline for Toxoplasma AB, SIGA, another bateria thing.

So the first plan of action is to get rid of the Crypto, then repare my immuse system and then my adrenal system after the leaky gut condition has been resolved.

Its been a hassle becuase the proper meds cant be given to me by the primary doctor because that's not what it says by the book, but the lab who tested me is only one of the few in the world that tests for crypto and how to properly get rid of it. That's my whole story, I'll get meds on tuesday after I see a certain doctor. I'm just lucky I didnt die and that I'm getting help now. A few more weeks or even another year without figureing this out... and I could have died. I owe my life to my Chiropractor who cordnated all of this. He's a lifesaver. My lifesaver.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 10/7/2006 12:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Annie, I'm so glad you've at last found a physical cause for a lot of your problems.

Hopefully as you get those under control your panic will also lessen. Take care of yourself.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/7/2006 8:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Annie (((HUGS)))

Sorry to hear that you're gong through this and so young. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair or make sense. We're always told that there's a reason for everything. I imagine God looking down on us saying, "Because I said so, that's why." LOL

Now that you've been DXed properly, you can get on the road to recovering. Slowly, but surely. Please let us know how you're doing. If you need support, a virtual shoulder to cry on or someone to make you laugh (even when you think you don't want to), we're all here.

Please keep us posted and be well. Strength is a characteristic all of us want, but few of us seem to notice in ourselves.
Life's a journey, not a destination ~Aerosmith

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/7/2006 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Huggs Annie .........Glad you found out your proper DX but darn sad for you
Hoping all goes well with your TX plan please do keep coming here and posting okay you have become a part of this "family" here
I know some of what you are going thru I have crohns and we have had a thread on parasites I am going to bump it for you to post in there this is important info
Luvs ya
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/7/2006 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I'd have no problem reposting this info in the parasites tread. I think its so important that all this information and my information be out there becuase If I did go though my chiropractor, Like I keep saying... I probaby would have died.

I had a paniced episode last night where I thought I was gonna die... heh... I thought once the parasites cleared up I'd have no panic attacks... WRONG..

And as for as God looking down and saying: Becuase I said so, that's why! I totally think you're right. I think everything happenes for a reason. I've been saying it for quite a while, its just hard for people to catch on. Only good that came out of this whole thing was my faith was renewd and strenthened more then I thought I ever would have. I say thank you and a help to all my angels and spirit guides at least 3 times a day it seems. lol But I am greatful they are here.

Best peice of advice: Breathe and take one day at a time.

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/27/2006 1:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I just made a list of all the diagnosises that I have had recently... ( past 18 months) and this is what it came to:

Anxiety, depression, Crypto, leaky gut, leaky brain, insulin resistance, pre diabetic, agoraphobic, claustriphobic, social anxieties, Fibro, IBS, Chronic
Pain, Migranes, PCOS, Panic attacks, soy allergy, chronic fatigue synd., Poor Adrenal System, and Possible Toxoplasma, vertigo and Empathetic.

Not the most fabulous. Most of these things are very serious... :-( But I'll make it, I always do.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/27/2006 2:00 PM (GMT -6)   

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
--George Bernard Shaw

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