I know I was singing my new pdoc's praises and I still do think he's a nice caring person and a good pdoc. But being the worrier I am has got me to thinking...that's what GAD sufferers do afterall...too much.
Last night I did not take my xanax as I was not anxy (he said take as needed only). Today I get up and feel okay. I take the 50mg of zoloft (1/2 of what I've been on for the past week and 1/4 of what I'd been on all those years before that). I only took .25 xanax. By the early afternoon, I was getting anxy. Waves of anxiety were washing over me, so I took the other .25mg of xanax. (You may remember that, for the past week, I'd been taking .5mg 3x a day whether I was anxy or not.) Anyhow, it freaked me out and I felt like bursting into tears. So I called pdoc's office and receptionist said he was at hospital and took my home ph.# and cell ph.#. He never called me back. Now I'm scared bad, that I'm going to go downhill again, right when I was starting to get to the peak. In retrospect, I do have some questions that I'd like to ask him. It was all happening so fast. He is a rapid speaker and has a strong accent. He explained to me something that I didn't really understand as it was a totally new idea to me-He said something about how some pdocs overprescribe antidepressants to a patient and it actually ends up making some patients even more anxious, even though their intent is to lesswen the anxiety. He gave me an RX for Restoril even though I sleep okay at night. He said something about me being able to have a deep peaceful sleep, so that I'd wake up feeling more rested. He said to take it for 3 nights and then after that only as needed. I haven't taken that yet, but will tonight. I'm trying to be a good patient. It suprised me that he's weaning me off of zoloft so quickly. The NP was going to do it over a matter of months. He's planning on me being totally off of it in 4 more days. Oh yes, he also took me off of the buspar. He said it was actually meant for mild anxiety. To be truthful, I've never thought it did so great a job myself! As to the Paxil CR, he says he has no plans to increase me from 12.5mg. That suprised me as Harry had brought out that it is usually only effective at the minimum dose of 20mg. I'm just so overwhelmed with information and at the same time, feel like I have little information, if you can understand what I'm trying to say. This pdoc has honestly helped a LOT of people and apparently he's done a lot of research about these things. He doesn't seem to agree totally with a lot of the "standard cookie-cutter" approach to anxiety/depression. He's NOT an alternative pdoc though. He's not anti-xanax either, although he does prefer a person only use it as necessary. Tomorrow, I am going to take my xanax as I was doing previously at .5mg 3x a day, "come hail or high water"! I truly think he'd understand. He told me to expect possibly some increased anxiety when I was coming off zoloft, but I thought he meant when I was totally off it for the first few days or so...oh well! He felt that I'd be able to weather the anxiety, but siad I could call if I had any problems or questions.
Does ANYONE here have any similar experiences to any of this??? I need reassurance I suppose. I just want to get better so very bad! I've had 3 major episodes of anxiety this year already, after a number of years with little. I'm trying so hard to be sensible and patient. I try to give myself pep talks and also reprimand myself for thinking negatively...
Also, someone on another thread yesterday mentioned that they do CBT online and it's really helped her. She offered to send the info to anyone wanting it. I want it!!! If you're reading this CBT-friend, please let me hear from you!
"if there's someone you know and loving them so, but taking them all for granted, you may lose them one day, someone takes them away and they don't hear the words you long to say...I would give evrything I own just to touch you once again...just to hold you once again."
From the song "Everything I Own" by David Gates (Bread)
He wrote this for his father, after he passed away. Don't hold a grudge. It takes up so much room, it crowds out the love...
If you want to keep things in perspective when the little things are getting you upset, say what I say: "And the starving children in Africa thought THEY had a problem!" Suddenly, the fact that you forgot to get an item at the store or dropped a glass of juice doesn't seem all that big a deal anymore.
Post Edited (janetlee) : 9/21/2006 8:13:21 PM (GMT-6)