It certainly sounds like hormones are at least a contributing factor to what you're going thru right now! I feel so bad for you!! I think some of my "downs" have been effected by hormones as well, but that it's not the WHOLE reason. Please continue to go to the doctor and counselor! If things get so bad that you start feeling suicidal, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call your doc or crisis center. Things WILL get better. It may take some time as with meds it's often a trial and error thing until they get it right! Hang in there! It's true that your husband doesn't understand! He likely hurts your feelings by some of his comments (my mom, bless her heart, has done similarly with me!), but he does love you or he wouldn't be worried about
As to not wanting your problem to effect your family's lives, remember that there's no way around that. If the situation was reversed, you'd be effected by their distress too. But keep in mind that you would STILL love them and want them around!!! I've had so many of the same feelings you've described and my heart goes out to you!!! Whatever you do, DON"T GIVE UP. As to your weight loss, it is understandable, but keep forcing yourself to eat what you possibly can. Have you tried Ensure? Also, get a quality multi-vitamin with minerals. please feel free to email me and I'll send you some good links that you may find helpful.
Take care and remember everyone here cares and we're on your side!
"if there's someone you know and loving them so, but taking them all for granted, you may lose them one day, someone takes them away and they don't hear the words you long to say...I would give evrything I own just to touch you once again...just to hold you once again."
From the song "Everything I Own" by David Gates (Bread)
He wrote this for his father, after he passed away. Don't hold a grudge. It takes up so much room, it crowds out the love...
If you want to keep things in perspective when the little things are getting you upset, say what I say: "And the starving children in Africa thought THEY had a problem!" Suddenly, the fact that you forgot to get an item at the store or dropped a glass of juice doesn't seem all that big a deal anymore.