I received good news (well at least for me) on Monday. Something I had been worrying about for a month. Background is that my company is laying off 67 people (out of a work force of 700) and I learned Monday that I will not be one of them. There was a dispute about how my seniority should be figured, with a hearing, an arbitrator and all kinds of in-fighting. I knew the decision was coming down on Monday, and I can tell you all weekend long I worried about it.
I just wanted to ask you folks if you think that now since one of my big concerns is over with, should I feel better? I had started taking Lexapro because I was having really bad chest pains. Over the weekend I "only" felt some fluttering-like pains in my chest and my eye was twitching a lot. I guess because I was nervous. There was another really weird thing that happened Friday, which I am embarrassed even to mention, and it left me stuttering and about feeling like a complete idiot in front of my entire neighborhood. (OK. I'll tell you. I thought my house was on fire and I called 911, but when the firemen came out, they said it was just a bad switch that had shorted and nothing was on fire. Coulda fooled me.)
Incidentally, I have had a thorough run of tests by doctors and physically I am perfectly healthy.
So now I guess I feel like I should feel just ducky. Even though... I have been transferred from a very cool job on days to a kinda crappy job on nights... even though my best friend at the job has resigned .... even though my partner is angry about this schedule change... even though I think everybody who matters at my job thinks I'm an idtiot... even though my company is being steered by madmen who are probably going to put it out of business.
I had a mini-argument with my partner last night and it just kind of reminded me that maybe I really do feel, very, very crazy underneath it all. Underneath my wonderful Lexapro. I just started screaming back at her, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. And before I went to work today, I had a good long cry because I got to thinking of when my father died when I was a child 32 years ago.
so... am I crazy?
mother of Daisy, a very cute doggie