NEVER EVER FORGET that you ARE NOT BY YOURSELF in this thing. Although many of us here suffer from different types of disorders we all have one thing in common: the need for support and understanding. You most certainly have that here. I myself do not have BiPolar but instead suffer from panic attacks followed by depression, severely. Your post really touched me because I have felt the same way - my husband just DOES not understand why I can't just get over it and it seems at times as if it is all I can do just to drive to the store. I CAN tell you this - find a good doctor and get on meds and take them FAITHFULLY and EXACTLY as you are supposed to. They WILL help. My Aunt is Bi-Polar and lives a normal and happy life. You WILL TOO. I have been there, had the most horrible thoughts take over my mind and just gotten to the point where I was so low and so out of it I felt there was no way out. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT. What you go through only makes you that much more stronger than those people that may not seem to support you and tell you to just get over it. I will be praying for you... keep talking/posting and keep your chin up. You've always got someone to hold you up here.
PanicinID - get in the chat room/s and we'll talk if u need to.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...********************
Hi Pat, welcome to HW and congratulations on having the courage to tell us your story.
There are many reasons why families and friends can’t understand or accept your feelings. Fear, shame, disbelief, ignorance, threat,… the list goes on. As you see, some of these are probably also the reasons for your anxiety. Many parents often feel some sort of guilt for their children’s illnesses, so to deny its existence frees them of their assumed responsibility.
It is hard for family and friends to help or sympathise with something they can’t see and don’t understand, so be lenient with them. Instead of arguing with them, forgive their lack of understanding and love them anyway.
Try to get them to visit this site and read some, particularly this thread, YOUR thread. They may get a better understanding of how you feel.
You have already received some sound advice so don’t feel alone and know you are among friends here.
Hold on to your self-esteem and try not to be envious of those around you. They probably all have their own little secrets, weaknesses and jealousies hidden away, outward appearances are often deceiving. You most likely have qualities of your own that they would die for.
And yes you are quite right; you have been sabotaging your own life, with your inferiority feelings and envy. This is the root of much anxiety. Consciously seek the truth, accept yourself just as you are and get to like yourself. Build on your strengths and laugh at your weaknesses. You are better than you think!