Yesterday was awful. I was feeling okay at first, and then BAM. I go to Target. (deathly afraid of Target for some reason mainly cuz I have had a lot of panic attacks in the past there) Well I wanted to go alone, I was sick of having someone go with me. I got out of my car and walked towards the doors. Jelly legs, suddenly the archway to Target looked too big, I forced myself in, I grab a cart and I just wanted to run out of the store right then.
I can make it to the dog food. I thought. Starting to hypervenalate, breathing too fast, not enough, fingers and arms are tingling and I feel like I can't push the cart another step. I make it to the dog food and manage to make it through Target but continually panic til I reach the register and try to make small talk with the cashier. I made it but it was absolutely miserable.
I've been feeling strange all day today but that always happens after an attack.
I thought I was getting through this just perfect, I haven't felt panicy in two weeks but these past two days it's like a whirlwind all over again of panic and anxiety and I am just so sick of this disease.
God help me.
I'm so stressed out and am trying to stay positive but it so hard to be.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."