Freaking out, can't get any answers, help, very scared....

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/13/2006 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been trying for two days to get in to see a psychiatrist. I called my insurance yesterday and they gave me three names. I called the one that was closest to my house, naturally. I'd put off calling the insurance until close to doctors office closing time, why, I don't know. I forgot about it until it was too late. So I call the doctor and leave a message, explaining what my situation was, who I'm insured throught and got a call this morning, they don't accept my insurance and the doctor isn't accepting new patients. So I try calling my insurance company again so that I can see if there is another one within the same area. Nope, only 2 are left and they are a 15-20 min drive from me. Ok, no choise so I call them. The girl who takes care of new patients and making appts for them went home way early today. I had to leave a message on her machine. Now it's friday night and I've still got no appt, no answers, no help, nothing. I'm freaking out. I can't breathe, I can barely see. I'm so agitated that I can't sit still. I could run a marathon with all of this energy. And yet at the same time, I'm exhausted and don't want to do anything. I'm bored. I'm really bored. Nothing I want to do, nothing sounds fun. I'd just keep obsessing about it all anyway. I'm in my jammies and typing to my friends. Please friends, help me. Give me some advise. How do I calm down and wait until Monday for some answers? Patience is *not* one of my virtues. And now that I've whipped myself up into this tizzy, I can't come back down. My mind is racing, my head is spinning. I keep thinking of all the things that are wrong in my life, yes, I'm pessamistic also, I'm the glass is half empty girl. What ever can go wrong will go wrong. I've talked to my parents. My Dad is always full of good advise. Tonight he couldn't get me calmed down. He usually can. I talked to my Mom, my sisters. Hubby is bowling. He needs a night to blow off some steam from his long work week. He deserves it. But part of me is mad that he's not here. I know that's wrong. He shouldn't be stuck here with a whirlwind. He really needs to go do things for himself and I honestly don't begrudge him that when I think about it logically. It's my illogical mind I worry about. I took triple the dosage last night of my sleeping pills just to try and get some sleep. I can't sleep no matter what I do. I'm up until 1 or 2 am and then back up at 8 or 9 am. That's not enough sleep. And I really am tired.Maybe that's part of my problem, I'm not sleeping right. I got the lecture from Dad about the triple dosing. I know, with my medical background, thst it's not good for you. I would tell anyone else the same thing and be worried about them if they did. It's not safe, it's not healthy. I'm just getting desperate.
I guess I'm done for now. You guys are my friends here, I honestly don't know what I'd do without your hugs, advise and support. You all listen so well here and I know it's because we all understand.
My baby birdie, Timmie, is squaking at me, need to go see what he's doing. I love him so very much. He's what keeps me sane when Louis is at work and I'm home from school. He's my baby, my child. I have no children, can't have children, and he fills so many voids in my life.
Sorry, I'm doing it again. I'll be done now!
Love you guys! 
Take Care,
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, probable Bi-Polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, orthostatic hypotension, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, xanax, proamatine, inderal la, neurontin, torfanil pm, celebrex, sonata, aspirin, relpax, phenergan, esgic plus
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 934
   Posted 10/13/2006 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Chelle, are you taking any meds right now? Any benzos (ie; xanax, Ativan/Lorazepam, klonopin)? That would help you calm down.

Otherwise, take deep breaths, and just clear your mind. If you have any books, I suggest lieing down in your bed and reading one, to clear your mind. Then eventually you'll fall asleep.

I have a similar sleeping pattern where I go to bed at 1 or 2 or even 3 in the morning, but don't get up until noon the next day.

Just remember, it's only a couple days away to hear from the girl who sets up appts for new patients. Just relax.

Think positive, "I can get through this." "I will be okay."

And don't triple-dose on the sleeping pills, that's not a good idea.

I read every night and then pass out as the worlds start jumbling together and I just can't read another page because I'm so tired. lol

Might I suggest "Letters from Emily" (can't remember the auther) or "Please Stop Laughing at Me" or "Lucky" by Alice Sebold. All are good reads that you can find at Target or any book store under "recommended reading".

I hope this helps.

We're all here for you. ***HUG****


"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

Post Edited (Twiggygal) : 10/13/2006 10:17:02 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 10/13/2006 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
If you get too bad, you can always call a crisis center and see what they recommend. Take a nice warm soaking bath and like Twiggy said, take deep even breaths. I just got home from helping mom clean offices and saw your post. I know exactly how hard it is to deal with extreme anxiety and depression! When your hubby gets home, let him hold you. I so hope that by the time you read this that you are feeling better!
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/14/2006 5:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the input
NEVER triple dose your meds
You know better and they dont work any differently anyways
You can make it thru the next xouple of days with peeps her and you have awesome family support
Please try looking at your glass as half full instead of the other way around
Some peeps have no family support and are here for support all the time knowing they are cared about and welcomed
Please look at some good things in your life
I dont mean to sound harsh but Count some of your Blessings
You have many
Be well
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/14/2006 7:20 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Chelle,

You hang on in there hun -- (((Chelle))) -- I'm so sorry there are delays and complications, but you know what: it *will* pass. Weekends, ya know, they can go pretty quickly if you make sure you have lots to do!!

So I have thought of something *really* positive you could do. :) -- Start compiling a folder for information you find out about bipolar -- in case this *is* what you have. -- You can look at some websites and write up information or print it off -- and finding out some more stuff should help take the terror out of it (and it's really *not* a life-sentence!!). Maybe have sections in your folder for sources of help, books that might be worth reading, information on the criteria for different types of bp, information on depressions, information on manias, stuff to do with managing sleep and eating patterns, mood charts, and (very important) information on the *positive* points that come up about bp (the talent it is very often associated with).

Some websites that might help start you off might be:

This one -- check out the resources pages.

McMann's Depression and Bipolar Web:

Web sites with mood charts: try a Google search -- or just have a look at this one --

There are lists of interesting and informative pages on: and and

Internet Mental Health:

I think you could really use this time helpfully as your own preparation for when you *do* get that appointment!!! :)

Love to you,

Rosie x


People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...


Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1308
   Posted 10/14/2006 7:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey seechell,

I can identify with how you feel when the panic takes over. I felt a bit like that when I arrived in Hospital a few days ago and found it difficult to get a grip, it was the self-talk saying 'this will pass' that helped, along with deep breathing excersises.

I thinks Rosie's idea is a wonderful one, it will keep your mind active and will go a long way to helping you state your case at the docs! Boredom is the worst thing for anxiety so get your mind occupied, hard to do I know but I know you can do it!!

take care


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/14/2006 11:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello seechell
Hun I'm so sorry this is hitting you so hard right now. Dr's and insurance is always a pain in the bum but what would we do with out them. Anytime you just need to talk to some one you will aslo find a lot of live support in chat so don't feel you have to go threw this alone. I'm happy to hear you have great support at home and it's very nice of you realizing hubby needs a night out. You hang in there and please keep us posted on how your doing.

I have an illness, My illness don't have me.


Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/14/2006 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Guys-
I'm better this morning. I will take all of the advise to heart. Yes, I know triple dosing is *not* good. I was just to the piont of please let me get some sleep, whatever I had to do. I know it was wrong. My Dad was really angry with me, as he should have been.
Rosie- Thanks for all the web sites. I'm going to check them out right now.
I love you guys, all of you. Thanks for giving me a place to vent, ask questions and for the support.
Take Care,
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, probable Bi-Polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, orthostatic hypotension, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, xanax, proamatine, inderal la, neurontin, torfanil pm, celebrex, sonata, aspirin, relpax, phenergan, esgic plus
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/14/2006 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear chelle, im glad you feel better this morning. Im sorry its so hard to find a good doc, especially on short notice, there are so many that wont take new patients......You have plenty of input, and as always, plenty of ppl here who do care, (and ya better listen to sis lyn, she will getcha when needed, shes da bomb ;) i hope you can get into a doc soon, and please keep posting. We luvs ya, and are happy you are here with us, we all need support. take care, and huge HUGS!!

" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/14/2006 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chelle
When I was going through my worst patch, I found the weekends always the worst. The mere thought that most
'rescue points', that my General Practitioner etc. were not available .... made me feel incredibily anxious. Perhaps that is what is happening for you too Chelle. Be aware of a pattern.
Does it always get worse over weekends or over holiday time?

Often I find writing almost as useful as talking to a therapist.
I get myself as comfortable and secure as I can. Hot water bottle, a mug of something warm and comforting, a book and a pen and then I just write it all down. All my most fearful thoughts and anxieties. In fact it is better than therapy at times because I can take ALL my masks down. Often I cry for quite some time as all my insecurities come to the surface. And if I can, then I write just about the here and now; about my surroundings, how warm the blanket feels around my shoulders. How safe I feel in my bed and that my little corner at that moment is not such a scary place to be in. Gradually with some breathing exercises my anxiety lessens.

I hope this helps a little; perhaps it doesn't. I shall include you in my meditation tonight and I wish you a peaceful night.

best wishes. aloisia.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/15/2006 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chelle,
You already got some great advice so I just want to say that you'll have one more person including you in their prayers tonight. Take care, try to stay focused and be well! (((Chelle)))
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.

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