Horrible anxiety tonight....

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 10/17/2006 10:38 PM (GMT -6)   
This has been one of the worst days yet for my anxiety/panic. I have been tryin to just lay in bed and not move, but still my stomach is doing flip flops, feels like my heart is skipping and every time i stand up I am dizzy and nauseus and my heart starts racing like i just ran a marathon. It really feels like something is physical wrong with me. I am on here instead of going to the ER. I just need to fight it out but its so hard when its going on all day long. I have hardly slept for 2 days. I slept in all about maybe 6 hours in 2 days. I am wondering if that may have anything to do with why i feel so bad. Does anyone else get effected by lack of sleep? Also I found my ex highschool sweetheart online. We dated when we were teenagers for 3 years. Even lived together for 2 of those years and had a pretty difficult break up. That was 9 years ago and we've been talking for the past 2 days. Im gettin married next month to an amazing guy who i have been with for 5 years and have 4 gorgeous children with. But yet I keep thinking about my ex and its making me feel guilty and horrible and its making me feel literally sick to my stomach. My ex is married too so its not like we are gonna run off together. But talking about old times and him saying how beautiful I still am and how i was his first love blah blah blah is making me feel like I am doing something wrong. I think all this is making me feel physically ill. But Its like i cant turn my mind off. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Seems to give a tiny bit of relief!
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.--

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 10/17/2006 11:31 PM (GMT -6)   
If you continue chatting this old flame up, you are going to end up with a broken heart and a broken relationship with your current guy. You know in your heart of hearts that you shouldn't be getting yourself all involved with this guy again. you said that your fiancee is a wonderful guy. Do you want to risk losing him for a guy that's playing around with YOUR emotions and doing so behind his wife's back? Your man doesn't deserve you doing this to him either. Think of how hurt you'd be if the shoe was on the other foot. You ever had a craving for a certain food and then when you finally got it, it didn't taste near as good as you'd imagined in your mind??? Well, that's how it is with old flames. IMHO, until you make up your mind to say adios to the old flame, you're being unfair to yourself, your fiancee, and your kids. Remeber too, you can't go back. Read my little poem in my signature and it'll say a lot! :)
Anyhow, you know what you need to do, but will you listen to what your consccience and body are trying so hard to tell you? I hope you will.
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/18/2006 1:35 AM (GMT -6)   


I've been where you're at. I had an ex fiance who I had a really bad break up with. He found out I was getting married and he immediately wanted to talk and come clear from Texas to see me. I told him no, but continued to talk to him on the phone and through e-mail. I ended up getting married anyway. My deception continued. It caused me anxiety because I knew it was wrong to talk to him, but at the same time, I was actually still in love with him. (long story)

This is probably the cause of your anxiety and yes, I've had my sleep dirupted by it. I'm going through a week or so of not being able to sleep. It's awful. You need to do what your heart tells you to. I wish I had never married my first husband. I'm now married to a very wonderful man and haven't talked to the ex in Texas for around 3 years and I don't miss him.

Take Care,
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 10/18/2006 1:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Hunnibee, I'm sorry that you are suffering. I agree with JanetLee. Think of it this way - some things that are causing the anxiety we simply can't get rid of. You have a wonderful opportunity to STOP the insanity. A polite and friendly boundary could very well put an end to your anxiety. Do it now and feel better. :)
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/18/2006 5:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I totally agree with janet stop talking to old flame he is only trying to butter you up IMO and YES lack of sleep plays heavy on A/P
I hope you get some decent sleep soon hun sounds like you need it real bad
be well and take care
I think your ex realized you have moved on and hew is only trying to wreck your life but thats just my opinion
You do as you feel is right for you
we will still be here for you no matter what decision you make

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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/18/2006 4:29:17 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 10/18/2006 11:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks ya'll. Janetlee I know you are right. Im not being fair to me or my fiance at all. I do LOVE my fiance. Its just old memories start flooding back and I dunno. Maybe its just nerves about getting married. Either way, Im not going to be talking to him much. A casual aquaintance should be enough. Thanks for all your replys. I actually slept last night and I feel a lot better. My mind is still racing but I made it through the night and the bad panic yesterday and i never went to the ER. Thats a HUGE accomplishment for me!Anyway..thanks again everyone.
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.--

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 934
   Posted 10/18/2006 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   
*hugs to Hunniebee* I understand what you're going through.

I was dating a terrific guy recently and then my old flame came back into my life so I left the great guy behind, which I shouln't have done. I took him for granted.

How things ended again ended as they did before and as janetlee said when you have that great food again that you've been aching for, it's never as good as it was the first time unfortunately.

And it wasn't great and it wasn't a good idea and I hurt the guy I had been with.

Just try to not talk to him as it will conjur up nothing but old feelings and want to sway you from your Fiance.

"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 10/20/2006 2:34 AM (GMT -6)   
I have a personal rule....'don't look back..look forward' - you are about to marry a wonderful man..wow!
It's ok to have memories of a previous life..good memories, photos...it's all good....relax and enjoy the next chapter in your life...
Hope you are feeling better soon.
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