where do i begen...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 10/19/2006 10:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Today i had one of many fights with my mom, this time it was over the phone, because i'm a real grown-up now with a real life and my own apartment and living miles away but it still feels the same. Two people would never fight so long and so often unless neither one of them were right, it's not that i didn't know (or at least asume) i was wrong, i just didn't know how before today. My mom yells at me because i want to do well acidemicly, and i've always been realy obessed with being smart and getting good grades, only i never have because I'm realy not that smart acidemicly. And my mom told me that if i was failing chemestry now then i should drop my "pie in the sky" dream about being a bioligest, she said i don't deserve to be in college if i'm going to fail my classes. She can be pretty harsh, but she's right in a way. She told me mabey i wasn't cut out for college, mabey i should just get a job. And i started cring and i told her i wasn't an imbosal, and that i deserve to be in college, because i'm not an imbosal, i'm not a failer. She told me no one ever said i was, she told me that there's nothing wrong with making an honest living. And then the strangest thing happened, my phone, without any warning, stoped like the battery died but it never beeped or anything. So i just took some time before i plugged it in, and for the frist time in my life i actualy thought about what she was saying. Because the only reason i set the stakes so i high is because i already know i'm going to fail, and i feel like if i started on the ground, i wouldn't have anywhere to fall. Because i never feel like i'm good enogh, so who knows how good at anything i realy am. And i know you all probably already had this realization...but it's just so new to me...and it feels to strange to finaly understand that. So i don't know where to go from here, it's just another begining i supose, i still want to do good in school, but i think now mom has a better understanding of me, and I seem to understand where she's coming from.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 10/19/2006 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
No -your Mom does not have a better understanding of you - YOU know yourself best. Parents, however well-meaning, can project a lot of stuff on their kids. I'm not sure where your Mom is coming from but ultimately you have the last word. Is your Mom paying for your college tuition? If she is not then you can kindly tell her that you are doing the very best can and believe in yourself but you appreciate her concern. Are you failing all of your classes? Are you thinking black and white? Are you passing classes? Focus on that. If you are continually failing chemistry and you want to be a biologist talk to biologists agout this. Ask your teacher for names of people you can call. Tell him that you are considering biology as a career and would like to talk with people in the field to get "information." You are not looking for a job and I know that people are usually flattered when someone wants to talk to them. Mom can't be your only source. She can't be the mirror for you. Don't give up on your dreams because of what someone else thinks -- you might live to regret it. Just take one day at a time -- don't try to be perfect because you never will be -- just be the best you can. The world needs people like that.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/20/2006 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree you can reach for the stars hun I tell my daughter SHE CAN do and acheive anything she sets her mind too
I am sorry I think your mom should be backing you not making you feel less than you already do
You wont know til you try right and trying and not being able to do it IMO is a heck of a lot better thn NOT trying at all
With that said I think that hopefulmigrainer has said some really good things i need add no more
Follow your heart and Never give up on your dreams or goals for without dreams what do we have ????????Take care and plaease keep us posted
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/20/2006 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry your not getting more support from your mother. Please don't let her discurage you from following your dreams. You deserve to get the things in life you want. Please come here as often as you like and we will give you all the support you need to get thru this. 

I have an illness, My illness don't have me.


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