why do I do this someone help me please!!!!!!!!!!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 133
   Posted 10/22/2006 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok now Im really going crazy!! I just jump around the boards alot and for some reason I went into the leukimia cancer forum and now Im freaking out. Ok I had blood work done in april 6months after havin my baby just for a check up and they told me that everything was normal. well ever since all this anxiety stuff has been goin on had more blood work done and all normal, well I switched docs for the anxiety part and got copies of all  my records in april and seen on my blood test part my white blood cells were 4.4 well the normal range was 4.5, so technically this was a little low, but my doc said that it was normal, well the most recent blood work from the ER it was in the normal range, but I dont remember what it was, anyways, Im worried that in april my white blood count was 4.4 when 4.5 and up was normal, and they said that symptoms of leukemia was bruising, so of course I start scanning my body and have noticed a few bruises on my legs that I dont know what they came from!!! Why do i do this to myself??? I feel like I am seriously going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/22/2006 3:18 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Angela

I think we all do this to ourselves at times, I know I do. I have a low WB count, although I do have lupus, my docs wouldn't worry until it was down to 3 or under. Your WB count can go up and down for many reasons or no reason. Please try not to worry too much, it's probably nothing and you'll just feel worse, or come right out and ask your doctor about this. Big Hugs and I hope you feel better soon.

Judy smurf

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/22/2006 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
hi angela, we do all do this to ourselves, i try to keep from looking things up, i ask on here instead ;) just so i dont make myself crazy. Im sorry you feel bad, if your real scared, ask your doc again, it cant hurt, it can only ease your anxiety. Do some breathing exercises and try to keep your mind busy on something else, i know thats easier said than done, but i hope you feel better soon, take care and keep posting,t hat always helps too :)
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 10/22/2006 3:40 PM (GMT -6)   
since i have now become an expert on leukemia (geeez)....i guarantee you don't have it. having a low blood count usually goes with a certain type of leukemia...and you would know by now (since this was april that it was abnormal and it is now close to the end of october) if you had that kind. Bruising isn't the only symptom. Other types of leukemia usually have high white blood counts.  oh, and you most likely would have something they call "blasts" in your blood. Also, the bruising is not caused by a low WBC, but a low platelet count. I think....???  

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 10/22/2006 3:45 PM (GMT -6)   
and to answer your question, "why do i do this?"

just like we all do....to find an explanation of why we feel like crap.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 10/22/2006 3:50 PM (GMT -6)   
You WBC is perfectly normal, could have been slightly low for a host of reasons.
The reason you do this to yourself is because you have anxiety.  Just accept that, you don't need anything else.
The mind is like a parachute - It works better when it's open.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 10/22/2006 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Angela,

I truly believe that when our anxiety is high we search for answers for all the weird symptoms we experience. And we become much more aware of our feelings, physical symptoms, etc... and become hypochondriacs. One thing I notice is that when I start symptom searching my anxiety skyrockets with what if's. Hang in there sweetie and don't symptom search.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 934
   Posted 10/22/2006 6:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I do this too... I typed in "glaucoma" and started flipping out thinking I had it because I am always thinking I have something.

You're not alone in this. *hugs*

"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 10/22/2006 6:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I have had every disease in the book as far as I have thought. I told my therapist that in one day I had leukemia, bone cancer, and stomache cancer. She loved that. Don't worry my friend, you are not sick.
Was on Zoloft for ten years. Trying to go natural for 7 months now, very difficult. Diagnosis: Depersonalization/Derealization, Panic, GAD, mild-OCD, mild-Depression.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1011
   Posted 10/22/2006 7:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I do the same thing to myself too. Never did Leukemia though. Geez, now something else I have to worry about (hee, hee). I have a very probably explantations for your unexplained bruises. How old is your baby? When my kids were infants and toddlers, I was always getting these weird bruises. A lot of them were on my legs or arms and they were usually small and round. I finally realized it was from the baby kicking her feet or bopping me on my arm. I bet that's what it is.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/22/2006 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
You are not crazy.  Today I have bowel cancer, tommorow it'll probably be HIV or maybe even chrohns.  I do this too.  You are not alone!!! I try and rationalize this by thinking of how many false alarms I've had in the past and am still healthy and alive (well except for the bowel cancer!!).

Dance like no-one's watching

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 10/30/2006 2:45 AM (GMT -6)   
You're not crazy at all. I agree with Mooney, we do this because we feel like crap and we don't understand why and we want a cause. When I first started experiencing anxiety, I thought I had heart problems and was about to be a 25 year old heart attack victim. Then I thought I was going blind because my vision was blurry when I was anxious. I went to the doctor soooo many times!!! I worked at a Dr's office at the time too, which was greaaaat. I had an EKG (for my non-existant heart attack), blood tests, urine test, even went to the optomotrist (sp?) and told him I was losing my sight (he said no). I was just trying to understand why I felt this way. So I think we all do it.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/30/2006 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree most of us do this
Stop looking for things that you may have bruises can be from numerous none health problems
You have to deal with health anxiety it will cause you more problems than you need
I am sure as Jethro said it is nothing
Take care
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/30/2006 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry I never look up my symtems and keep everything wrote down I'm feeling so when I go to see my dr I can tell him what has been going on and if there is something that he dx then I will look it up. Hope you are feeling better soon. 

I have an illness, My illness don't have me.


New Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/3/2006 7:04 PM (GMT -6)   
angela you need to stop chasing syptoms, if u have a syptom that is persisting with u then get it checked out by a proffesional, there are to many symptons and not enough deseases on the net. so see your general practicioner he will b able to refer you or atleast put your mind at rest. good luck my heart is with you.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 11/3/2006 7:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I figure..while we are still breathing...we are still living, lol...even if we do feel dreadful at the time!
The best thing I have found is to try and distract yourself from these thoughts..going for a walk is good, ringing up a friend and listening to their problems makes for a refreshing change lol, reading a book (not medical lol)...retail therapy - my fav.
If you are still stewing over this every minute of the day - best to see your doctor again and hopefully put your mind at rest.


Patty B.
Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 11/3/2006 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   
And might I add to this wealth of information:
Congtats on your baby and perhaps being a new mommy is the reason you haven't notice the causes of the bruises--you're too busy to notice or pay attention. It is not unusual for me to find sores and bruises and even slivers in me that I put off looking after until I've finished whatever it was I was doing with my kids and simply forgot about them--until someone says 'you're bleeding through your pant leg!'.

All the best!
Patty B.

When I put my foot in my mouth I hope someone will tell me before I wiggle my toes.

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