Feel Alone....But Now Less So

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/26/2006 12:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I've always struggled with anxiety  when going through a difficult period....  But I've been lucky in that, otherwise, anxiety is not a daily experience for me.  However, I've been under a lot of stress lately....and this summer went through a really traumatic period which I'm still recovering from.  My girlfriend had major surgery, and while - thank goodness - she's almost fully recovered and going to be fine...it was the scariest process I've ever gone through.  I've always been terrified of losing people I love (I grew up with a chronically ill mother, who is fine...but it's been scary at times).  Also, my family doesn't support our relationship (it's a same sex one, and interfaith), so I had to go through this experience will little support from my family.  Thank goodness for friends!  I'm 26 by the way.
Anyway, ever since just before the surgery, I've been experiencing all sorts of pains....and getting anxious that my pain means I'm sick/dying....I've been going to doctors and nothing has turned up yet.  I am now thinking it's more likely that my pain is caused by anxiety, but that makes me feel crazy.  It really helped to find this forum and now I'm not alone in suffering from a bout of health anxiety.  It's just really hard to be around my friends/lover right now, because it seems like I have new pain every day.  And I imagine they think I'm crazy.  Everyone's been SO supportive and non-judgmental, but I feel pretty paranoid about it lately.  Every  time one pain goes away, a new one seems to arrive.  I'm afraid I'll always be in pain...and that I'm sick....and that no one will want to be with me because who'd want to be around someone like that?
Anyway.  Finding this message board was really a lifesaver.  I keep doing internet searches about the pain I'm having, but none of the diseases sound quite right...except for health anxiety!!  Oh - did I mention I'm in publich health school and therefore have to learn about all sorts of awful diseases in some of my required classes?  Ugh.  (My focus is health promotion/social medicine related, so the stuff I came her to learn is not scary......but I have to take the core classes which include the scary stuff).
Sorry this post is so long - I guess I had a lot on my mind.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 248
   Posted 10/26/2006 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Anxiety can be hard to deal with. I'm glad you found this board, there are alot of supportive people here who deal with this alot. Post away whenever you feel the need.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 189
   Posted 10/26/2006 7:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, you are definatly not alone. I feel like I'm the queen of medical anxiety! Anxiety seems to be real good at changing symptoms, its enough to make you think your crazy. Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you!

"Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it, what is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside." -Ramana Maharishi 
"Mind is the source of happiness or unhappiness".-Buddha

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/26/2006 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the all the welcomes so far!!!

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/26/2006 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HW
You are so right
here there is NO judgement only acceptance and care support and empathy
I too am so happy you found this board not happy that you have to deal with this at all
You will find that peeps here are very supportive and care for each other
It is much like a close knit family here looking out for one another and you will see that the more you post and get to know us and us you
Anxiety is a hard adversary and you have got to learn ways and techniques to FIGHT it
stay with us and then you will see what I mean
Glad to have you with us
Take caree and if you need to talk my info is under name just add me and we can chat okay
Take care
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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/26/2006 6:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi There Welcome

I have some health anxiety problems as well, I do have lupus and a few other problems, which may be the cause of my health anxiety. But I know how you feel about nobody wanting to be around you, I used to feel the same way, but most people are understanding and if there not, they really aren't worth being around anyway. I'ts nice to meet you, and thank-you for sharing your story.

Judy smurf

What dosen't kill me, will only make me stronger.

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 11/9/2006 3:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your experiences and being so supportive!  I didn't post for a while b/c of a family emergency.  My dad was in the hospital, but thank goodness is now home and doing really well!  It's interesting...the whole time he was there, I  was totally unaware of the different pains I've been feeling/worrying about lately.  It's like I knew I didn't have the time/energy to be anxioius...and so I wasn't.  I mean, I was anxious about him, but I knew that was rational.
Anyway....I'm now up having trouble sleeping b/c my girlfriend was having waves of stomach pain earlier tonight.  I think it's probably just gas or something she ate, since she doesn't have any other symptoms...but I'm a bit worried about going to sleep...since I feel like I can "watch" her if I'm awake.  It's hard not to worry that there's some weird thing going on, esp. since I'm in public health school and so we learn about thing like e. coli etc. all the time.
I guess I should go to bed since it's so late.  She started clearing her throat earlier, and then half woke up and I brought her water...and then she let out a big burp :)
I guess a sign of gas...  Ha.  I can't believe I've gotten to the point where gas scares me. 
Ok, I'm really going to try and go to bed. 
Good night...
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