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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 10/28/2006 1:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Im having a heart palpitation day.
It Sucks!  Back to the symptom surfing.  Depression. sick of these games my mind tries to play.
How has this disease taken away from who you are?
Do you realize any changes in your personality?
What are you doing to ge tthat back?
When you need time for yourself to nourish who you are, what do you do?  How do you find yourself again?

T Bird
Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 10/28/2006 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Leah,

I'm having a difficult time myself. I am pissing my bf off and not realizing I'm doing it. I feel like I'm trying to piss him off. He is my only safe person. Meaning I can do that to him and he won't leave me. I also realized why I am having a hard time calling my future father in law Dad. I have two Dad's already both whom don't treat me well, one is critical the other shows no interest in me. Medication when it works makes me feel like myself, or whom I think I should be. To try to get back to "me" , I go to therapy. Me time is usually a bubble bath, or whirlpool bath, a good movie, a book, daydreaming, and I used to love coloring.

I'm still trying to find myself.


Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 10/29/2006 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes Leah, PD has changed me alot and in many very significant ways. I like to look at it as positive though, as hard as this may be to do. First of all yes - I have had troubles with my husband as he doesn't (or now I should say didn't) understand panic disorder. What we have to realize is that it is VERY hard for someone who is not afflicted with this disorder to understand it. And most certainly family or someone that is very close to you. I have been through periods of what felt like complete loss of self? and severe depression, all brought on by the episodes of panic. I felt I was going crazy, losing my mind and totally falling into a pit of despair. What to do?
I could not stand myself, my husband struggled to find a way to help me. He couldn't. This was something that I had to go through in order to become who I am now. I still have this awful disorder but I have managed, by the grace of God, to take my suffering and turn that into a strength like no other. Take each day and look at it as a new beginning, a fresh, clean slate - another chance to grow into the person you want to truly be. This goes for anyone, no matter how old you may be. Don't say - 'Uuuuuuhhhhh.... I want this to go away!!!!!' Instead say.... 'Okay I am going to deal with this thing... BRING IT ON!!!!!' Grow from it, learn from it - you will be okay, you will be so much better than you ever could have imagined. If we never suffered then what would we have to give back to others? Take your pain and turn it into healing... you can. Panic Disorder is an opportunity to overcome something and be better and more able to help those that need you. Keep on fighting - that is what you must do. Yes I am a very different person now, a much better one at that :-) I have been given an amazing gift - in struggling to overcome suffering I have come to know the true meaning of compassion. I hope I have helped you - no Leah you are not alone, we all feel the same things. You keep on posting - let us know how you are doing. Already you are on your way...
      God bless...   Idie
Now that we're here, so far away,
All the struggle we thought was in vain.
All the mistakes one life can take,
They all finally start to go away.
Now that we're here, so far away,
And I feel like I can face the day.
I can't believe that I'm not ashamed,
To be the person that I am today.  

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/29/2006 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
You will find your self if you continue to look deep and find the real you overtaken by this DD believe me and with the care and suppoort of peeps on here...........
Already you have been given fantastic input sure there will be more to come hun
we are always here for you remember that please
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity

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