A big hello to all! I have missed being here sooooo much...but I needed to work out some things with my husband, as some of you know. All right sorry to keep y'all in the dark, but this was an extemely hard and personal issue for me. I found out through the browser (cookie files) that my husband has been looking @ inappropriate sites on the internet. This was devastating to me. I know that not all wives would take issue w/ this, but I really do. The reason is two-fold: I am 100 percent loyal and respectful in my relationships and expect the same in return. Also I have battled an eating disorder, therefore body image insecurities, my whole life. (being a gymnast and dancer since a young child is probably a contibuting factor) So as you can imagine this revelation caused me and my marriage quite a bit of strife. Actually personally I have been a mess. Anxiety wise, I have been okay (no attacks) but my eating patterns and self esteem have taken a dive. I have been (situationally) depressed which is not the norm for me. If I can put a positive spin on this which I'm really trying to do... I can say that my husband is doing everything he can to fix this. He is reading books, talking to our pastor, and we have our first marriage counseling appnt. today (will let y'all know how that goes) Also I know that this is his problem (has had it since he was a teenager) and nothing that I did or didn't do. We have been talking, probably more than ever in our marriage, and that too is a good thing. We will get through this and be a better couple, but we need to do a lot of work. I also have a lot of work to do re: getting healthy again. I am again so sorry to be away for so long. I have missed you all, but needed to focus my energy on this situation. Will be posting again soon!
Love to all!!!!!!!!!!!
"Courage is not the absence of fear...it is being afraid, and doing it anyway!"