...Whenever the panic starts bubbling up inside of me-I try to ignore it and keep doing what I'm doing, but I get so dizzy and my heart starts racing and I become irrational. I used to be normal.
....what happens to cause this? Does the body just reach it's stress limit then say- " now you're gonna get it?" As I said before, doctors haven't really told me anything...they just give me the Xanax...so I'm just here in the dark, wondering how to deal with the panic now that my quick-fix pills are gone.
In a word, "Yes," that is exactly what happened to me. My emotions turned on me when I wasn't paying attention to taking care of myself and didn't notice how much my life had gotten out of my control. For me anxiety is a physical symptom that there is something I need to pay attention to.
I still have anxiety once in a while but now I listen to what my body is telling me. I am brutally honest with myself and I take care of me. That does not mean that I am a selfish person but it does mean that I understand that if I am falling apart I can't take care of anyone that I love or anything that is important.
I get that doctors don't know what to do for you. You need to not be seeing a primary care doctor but rather a psychiatrist (we call them pdocs) because it is their specialty. I also have a therapist that I see when I need to (less expensive than a pdoc and more focused on solutions). I can't even begin to tell you how mad it made me to find out that I had to see a pdoc because it made me feel abnormal. It is an unfortunate reality of this issue that it is a physical desease with emotional symptoms.
You are still normal. You are a normal person with a challenge in your life. Get the help you need, be very honest with yourself and you will be able to take control of what is going on with your life.
This is an understanding and compassionate place where you will not be judged. Keep coming here and let us know how you are doing.
Walk in harmony