Hi everyone. Well, I gotten through the darkest days (suicidal thoughts) but now, I have to face life and the clock is ticking, ticking, ticking. I have been through a really rough year with two episodes of major depression after my husband walking out on me with an email after only 4 months. I have chronic migraine too and have spent the last year going to every kind of doctor under the sun and I can't get a handle on the migraines and am scared to death to go back to work under the flourescent lights and the pressures of the corporate world. Well, the deadline looms. My State disability runs out in less than 30 days and I have just begun my job search. I am severely anxious. No panic attacks, just constant anxiety with crying and depression too. I have lost my self esteem. I feel out of touch from the real world. I am scared to death that I won't find a job that pays my bills. I am 100 % self-supporting (I don't have family to lean on even when the chips are down) and I have to get a fairly good paying job to keep a roof over my head. As soon as I get a job I will have to turn around and move (again - just moved 3 months ago) because I can't afford the overhead as it is. I worry about
EVERYTHING. I have no financial reserves and I worry about
how I'm going to break my lease and get out of here w/o paying overlap and deposit, I'm worried that I won't find a good paying job and even with a roommate I will still have financial problems. I'm just really, really, scared. If the deadline wasn't looming, I would just hide under the covers. I'm so anxious and scared. Just wanted to let you all know what was going on with me and hopefully hear from a few caring people.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."