hi everyone! it's been awhile since i posted and i wanted to let you all know that i have been seeing a counselor and actually tomorrow she is going to start the bio feedback on me, she said she has great results with that. i am still on 10mg of lexapro and 1mg ativan 3xday, so far it seems to be helping me. just lately probably the last 2 or 3 days i just feel kinda weird i can't even really explain it, i haven't been sleeping well at all so that might have something to do with it, but then again last week i found out my pap came back bad so this wednesday i have to go in for a biopsy and then who knows what, so i have been stressed about that and also my son wants to move back with me and my husband, so now i have been talking to my lawyer to see what we need to do to get custody. my ex husband is a jerk and the only thing he cares about is having to pay child support not whether my son is happy or not. i called my son tonight and was talking to him and i can tell that his dad and everyone has been talking to him and filling his head with crap because now he seems unsure as to what he wants. he is 11 and will soon be 12. just last weekend he was absolutley miserable and doesn't want to go home, he tells me all the time his dad doesn't spend any time with him, he has to fin for himself when he's hungry ect.. i just really think he would be better off here with us we were the ones that bought all his school clothes and shoes, bookbag,bike, gameboy, ect.. i guess i never really let myself think that my son would want to move back in so now i really really really want him here and to hear the uncertainty in his voice hurts so bad!! well thanks for listening i just needed to get that off my chest, i wish wednesday was here and over with and i had the results already!! oh yeah i also have been doing jazzersize 4 days a week wich helps tremendously!!