Hi everyone, I've gone from major depression (suicidal ideation) to "ok, I want to LIVE and now I'm soooooooo anxious and sooooo scared of everything. What if...what if...what if...I'm alone, have no place to stay because of my little doggie (who is the main reason I am here today typing on this computer), flat broke, in chronic pain w/ migraine - not sure how I would work w/ migraine, not sure when I would recover from the paralyzing depression/anxiety all the while with the clock ticking...tick, tick, tick - 3 weeks until my State Disability is cut off. No more paychecks. The thought of what could happen to me if I don't get a job in time TERRIFIES me. All of my security is threatened. I have been working since I was 15 yrs. old until last year and my migraines were daily and my husband left me after 4 months of marriage (I emphasize this because I experienced something like PTSD - I was in complete and utter SHOCK - we were a Christian couple and he communicated no dissatisfaction with me or our marriage). Anyway, I lost my confidence with the depression. I didn't know who I was anymore. I lost my self. Well, with the deadline looming and having absolutely no choice but to get out from under the covers and go to the computer and look for a job - I finally did. Over the weekend I sent out 17 cover letters for a position in project coordination, exec admin asst & HR coordinator/asst. Low and behold 2 calls today. 2 brief telephone interviews and 2 interviews set up for this week. Okay, so WHY AM I STILL SOOOOOOOO ANXIOUS? Now I have a whole new set of things to worry about
. I worry about
how to answer the questions, I worry about
not making as much money as before, I worry about
EVERYTHING. What can I do to control this? I believe in God and that should be good enough - knowing that He will provide but I feel those constant butterflies in my stomach. Any suggestions, words of encouragement? Thank you.