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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/9/2006 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I just want to let you all know that I am grateful to all of you for your advise. I am shocked to hear how many people suffer from this problem.. It is so helpful to know that you are not alone.
Yesterday was an especially hard day for me.  My problem began One year ago last April.  Prior to that I had been living single with three children. I worked I had great friends and always enjoyed my weekends off dancing and having fun.(my kids are grown-up) However in 2004 I met someone that I really fell in love with.  We were married 10 months later.  I sold my home that I lived in for over 10 years and I bought A big expensive house that I could no way afford on my own.  My husband made a lot of money so I wasn' t that conserned.  Well 2 months after buying the home, he walked out on me. I experienced the worst anxiety of my life. Could'nt eat for 2 weeks. Just shook all the time.  I worried about being betrayed, but most importantly that I would lose all that I had worked so hard for.  I did sell my house and move out of state to be closer to my family.  I bought a condo and I began working at a highly streesful job  that paid peanuts and thats when the panic attack first happened.  I changed jobs for a less stressful one and of course less money but was having trouble coping still. I had another attack at that job.. Eventuallly I got back with my husband and he moved in with me.  However we began to have terrible financial problems.(because where I moved to the pay is horrible)  I held a lot of mistrust and resentment for him.  I am in the process of trying to sell my condo and move near my brother where the homes are alot more affordable and work pays better.Keep me in your prayers through my journey.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 11/9/2006 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for sharinng your story you will be in my thoughts.

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
--George Bernard Shaw

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 11/9/2006 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   

My PD began like this:

I've always been a worrier. My panic attacks started at 21 years old. I was working at a stressful job, dating someone i didn't like very much, and my car broke down. While trying to get ahead by working hard, and during all of this stress, my mother borrowed all of my money and would not pay me back. My crazy mother opened accounts in my name and would not pay the bills. she started dating a drug addict.

surfacing was my father's alcoholism. There was physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in my past as well. 

It sent me over the ledge!

My first attack, I almost passed out at work. I had to go to the ER. I didn't get a diagnosis then, just lots of tests. Then it happened again, at night, when i lived with my sister. My mother was not paying me back and she was not speaking to me. I took a bath, got out, and looked in the mirror. I felt my face and it felt numb. I felt like my neck and arms were on fire but i was freezing. It also seemed like i was floating out of my body. I paced around the house gasping for air. I thought i was going to die.

I was so sick that i could hardly eat for a week. My hair started falling out. I guess i was really out of it since i would put the orange juice in the cupboard and throw my silverware in the garbage. Anyway, all of the lights seemed extra bright during this time, even traffic lights were hard to look at. I cried uncontrollably for weeks. I had severe insomnia cause i was afraid i'd die in my sleep and for the feeling i would get when i woke up.

During the course of this "disease", I've had symptom shifting. Although many of my symptoms happened a lot at the same time, some happened more intensely than others at times. I've seen specialists for: shakiness, pins and needles sensation, vision problems, breathing problems, severe fatigue, nausea, trouble swallowing, dizziness (this was major for me for years), funny sensations in my body that are too hard to describe, stomach problems, etc.

So now here's my situation....

I don't speak to my mother (and she does not care!), my father commited suicide, my ex-b/f has an alcohol problem (that he hid from me), he treated me terribly. I've also been diagnosed with being allergic to everything (I believe panic disorder caused this) except beef, chicken and dairy, so I have a challenge at every meal.  Sometimes I feel CURSED.  Sorry for my venting! 

Post Edited (Mooney123) : 11/9/2006 2:00:39 PM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 11/9/2006 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Big Big Hugs to both of you Lee and Mooney

I really believe that stressful life situations can bring on the onset of anxiety and panic disorders at any age. My therpist believes that most of my anxiety came from my childhood experiences which was rotten. At times I tremble when I think about the things that had happen to me as a young child. And at times i'll have nightmares of my past. My first panic attack happened when I was seven. I remember my mother taking me to the hospital many times in one year. Big Big Hugs to you both!!!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 11/9/2006 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh Lee,

Big hugs hun I'm so sorry you are having to go thru this. You do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You have struggeled thru a lot thru the years it's time you. I also was a single mom of three kids all grown up now and it is tough. You shuld be getting to take it easy for you. Don't let this man make anymore dissisions on your life hun. Bless you


I have an illness, My illness don't have me.


New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/26/2006 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new to the site and thinking about trying paxil to cope - any advice from anyone, pros or cons?


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 11/26/2006 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Eros
Welcome to HW were happy you joined us here. You will find a lot of kindness and support from a lot of members here and it won't take you long be calling all of us your HW friends and family.
I haven't taken paxil before but someone will be along soon that has or is presently on it you can also search for past post on it.
Please start a new post and introduce yourself to everyone and tell us a little about yourself. Welcome again to HW and I hope your feeling better soon.  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
Being happy doesnt mean everything's perfect.It means you've decided to see beyound the imperfrctions!God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but HE did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears & light for the way                                        



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