My PD began like this:
I've always been a worrier. My panic attacks started at 21 years old. I was working at a stressful job, dating someone i didn't like very much, and my car broke down. While trying to get ahead by working hard, and during all of this stress, my mother borrowed all of my money and would not pay me back. My crazy mother opened accounts in my name and would not pay the bills. she started dating a drug addict.
surfacing was my father's alcoholism. There was physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in my past as well.
It sent me over the ledge!
My first attack, I almost passed out at work. I had to go to the ER. I didn't get a diagnosis then, just lots of tests. Then it happened again, at night, when i lived with my sister. My mother was not paying me back and she was not speaking to me. I took a bath, got out, and looked in the mirror. I felt my face and it felt numb. I felt like my neck and arms were on fire but i was freezing. It also seemed like i was floating out of my body. I paced around the house gasping for air. I thought i was going to die.
I was so sick that i could hardly eat for a week. My hair started falling out. I guess i was really out of it since i would put the orange juice in the cupboard and throw my silverware in the garbage. Anyway, all of the lights seemed extra bright during this time, even traffic lights were hard to look at. I cried uncontrollably for weeks. I had severe insomnia cause i was afraid i'd die in my sleep and for the feeling i would get when i woke up.
During the course of this "disease", I've had symptom shifting. Although many of my symptoms happened a lot at the same time, some happened more intensely than others at times. I've seen specialists for: shakiness, pins and needles sensation, vision problems, breathing problems, severe fatigue, nausea, trouble swallowing, dizziness (this was major for me for years), funny sensations in my body that are too hard to describe, stomach problems, etc.
So now here's my situation....
I don't speak to my mother (and she does not care!), my father commited suicide, my ex-b/f has an alcohol problem (that he hid from me), he treated me terribly. I've also been diagnosed with being allergic to everything (I believe panic disorder caused this) except beef, chicken and dairy, so I have a challenge at every meal. Sometimes I feel CURSED. Sorry for my venting!
Post Edited (Mooney123) : 11/9/2006 2:00:39 PM (GMT-7)