I get SO frustrated when people want me to go places that are TOO far for me to go.
I haven't been farther than 20 minutes from my house in probably 4 or 5 months, and people don't get it when I explain that travelling farther than that will CAUSE a panic attack. I don't WANT to have a panic attack tonight or tomorrow or the next day and situations like that seem to trigger them.
I had this situation tonight and my friend just didn't get it, and said "oh, well you're going, answer your phone in 40 minutes".
Well I'm really NOT going because I can't handle the drive or anything. And now all I'm going to do is avoid my friend's phone call because I can't handle driving too far from my 'comfort zone'.
The thought of even TRAVELLING that far is causing me to panic right now. I think I need an Ativan.
It makes me mad that people are so inconsiderate of my disorder. It's like, well, if you had panic disorder/GAD, then maybe you'd get it, but you don't, and you're being rude for not even remotely trying to work with me here.
I hate this disorder, but it's not like I chose it.
It's not like I'm using it to get out of things/events. I'd LOVE to be able to go do the things I want and travel farther and farther, but the fact is, right now I can't. I mean for two months I couldn't be farther than 10 minutes from my house, and now I can travel just about 20 minutes from my house.
I even say to people; well can't we find somewhere closer to go and do something? But they insist on always travelling farther than I'm comfortable with.
I even explain that I will have a panic attack and get anxious and will want to go to the E.R. but they don't get it. They're like, "no, you'll be fine." Oh yeah? Really? Are you a psychiatrist or a doctor? No. Then they say, "well I can pick you up." Now I understand that these people really DON'T get it, because having someone else drive makes me feel like I'm losing control because I can't drive where I want to, or escape if I need to except on foot.
How do you get someone to just "GET IT"? How does one make another understand how debilitating this panic disorder can be?
Sorry, I just really needed to vent because it's really been stressing me out lately.
I feel I'm not even CLOSE to ready to travelling outside of my comfort zone, I've already been pushing my comfort zone outward, but with baby steps.
I can't just take a leaping dive into a situation where I know I'm not ready to handle it. That wouldn't make sense.
And I know how I'll react. I will PANIC. The worst thing for me is to have a panic attack in front of someone who just doesn't get my disorder either. Then I feel really alone, and more afraid, and I want to flee; whether on foot or by calling a cab no matter where I am if I don't have my car.
Has anyone else had this problem?
I really am just furious right now, and anxious.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."
DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
RX: Ativan/Lorazapam (1 MG a day), Lexapro (15 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines