Is there a way I can deal with my paranoia as it seems to be getting worse
I'm OK with the hypochondria , I can deal with that - It's the other stuff that truely scares me.
It's like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other
I can be sitting with close family whom I love and the next minute my mind is twisting a nice situation into something bitter and horrifying. It will tell me that they don't like me (and all that "you're worthless" stuff) and can make me think things like , they are going to go out of the room and come back with a knife and kill me , so I have this battle - I'm the angel telling me that it's not true and it's OK , but the devil is relentless and so I can't open up round people.
I even think that my BF against me sometimes - even though I nkow that's not true (it might be because my ex was bad that I have these thoughts).
I also 'see' people in my house when my BF is not with me and think they're going to get me , which makes me really jumpy.
And I 'see' things crawling across the floor even whe BF is there and I have to look straight away to see if they're real or not.
If I have to go to bed before my BF gets home I have to turn on the lamp before I can turn off the light and then I have to take a jump onto the bed so that no-one grabs my ankles - which is what I used to do when I was little (I am now 27 and have a divan bed so no-one could even fit under it LOL!).
There are so many other things but I will leave it at that for now.
I also think I'm mad sometimes - I don't know whether it's because there is so much else going on in my head that I can't concentrate or what. I told my daughter she shouldn't put her toothbrush in the car , I meant the bath! I've tried to put food in the drier , washing in the freezer , I tried to line the oven with bin bag , I have opened a cassette case expecting to hear the music on the tape without putting it in the player.
I also have bouts of stuttering , and cannot read/spell properly when my head is really fuzzy.
I'm doing the loopy dance