In a bad way...

Hi-all-

As the shock of losing my job of 18 years is wearing off, I find myself being more and more anxious.  I just cannot fathom the thought of starting something new right now, especially since my anxiety level is already so high with my husband out of work for the last 6 months.  My job was my stability in my life-something I knew I could count on every day.  The idea of having to learn something completely new sends me into panic mode! I am now back up to 200 mg of Zoloft and am probably going to make a doctor's appointment for this week. Last time she said she may have to add some Wellbutrin too.  I don't know if this is the route I should go...(I did get a prescription for Xanax, but never filled it- I am really scared of it!)

Also went back to therapy- she leaves me with positive thoughts, but I just cannot accept them at this point. I just feel like running away- and am praying that this does not push me over the "deep end". 

It is also hard with a 15 year old son around the house-he is very sensitive and I don't want him to hear me vomiting and dry heaving and to see me not being able to eat.  My daughter is coming home from college for Thanksgiving and I don't want to upset her either.

I'm also waking up way before I have to, with chest tightness and feeling like my body is paralyzed. 

I just don't know what to do with myself!!!!

Sounds like you have alot on your shoulders! Sorry you are having a hard time. I think it would help you to relieve some of the stress physically. Sounds crazy but it works. First ground yourself and then do something physical that will get your heart rate up. That will relieve a big part of the physical symptoms. As for the mental part, I have been working were I work for 12 yrs and have wanted to switch but it scares me too. I think a big thing with us a/p people is we don't like change. You can't change what has already happened and 9 out of 10 times the change isn't half as bad as we think its going to be. You have an excellent work history so it should not be too hard to find something else. Your doing everything you can, from here you should take it day by day. Life is full of ups and downs , but always seems to work itself out. Try not to worry (Iknow thats hard) maybe you will find a job that was way better than the last one. Try to look foward with the most positive view you possibly can and everything will work itself out.

HUGS

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"Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it, what is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside." -Ramana Maharishi 

 

"Mind is the source of happiness or unhappiness".-Buddha

 

Daisy

Hi a.l.   im sorry you are having to go through this, i really can relate a lil, although not as bad a position, i hate that for you , i have felt so safe with my job, that i keep myself from making more money and getting by better by keeping in the safe mode rather than change, im so sorry your safe zone was taken, and i hope you will be able to find something soon, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

shell

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" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

Wow-it is so great to find people here who truly understand!!

Hopeful- I see that you take Wellbutrin and Lexapro- my doctor had mentioned maybe adding Wellbutrin to my Zoloft. Do you find that the combination works well?

Thanks!

Hi a.l. I have found that the Lexapro (same as zoloft) and Wellbutrin are ideal. One gives you the kick to get you out of depression (neopenephrine?) and the Lexapro (serotonin) is good for generalized anxiety disorder. I'm the "job searching worry wart" poster so I know what you are going through. Hang in there.

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Talk2Kel 

DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 

RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 

"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."