Although, I’m a new comer to this site, my heart goes out to you. I too have been dealing with P/A and agoraphobia more years than I’d care to admit. One particular bout I have was so sever it lasted three consecutive days. I sincerely thought that my life was coming to an end, ( in all honesty, I was willing to let that happen.) I wasn’t able to calm myself down no matter what I tried to do, depression set in so badly my family considered Baker Acting me so I could receive some kind of treatment. The thought of being placed in a hospital with medication at the time was an overwhelming relief. Somehow through the depression, obsessive/scary thoughts, hiding under the covers, reading my panic/anxiety books, I did manage to bring my self out of what I refer to as the “dark side.”
I realize I must be vigilante when it comes to leaving the house but as you mentioned some days you know you can conquer the world but then there are the days when you don’t want to leave your bed. I am finally at a stage in my life I know in order to manage the panic/anxiety I will need to work very hard no matter what that nasty little voice in side my head tells me.
You too shall persevere because whether you believe it or not you have managed the panic/anxiety up this point. You have forgotten you past accomplishments, by writing down all you have overcome, you will recapture your inner strength which will see you through this terrifying period in your life.
You can reach me on messenger anytime you need a shoulder to lean on.
"It is never to late too late to be what you might have been". -George Eliot