Therapists, Appts. and Meds

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 75
   Posted Today 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
So given the fact that I've started a new job and it's busy, busy, busy... Along with the fact that I also moved and that is also keeping things busy, busy busy... I've had to tell my therapist that I want to wait until the New Year before I can reschedule my regular appt. time.
Needless to say, I don't think she was thrilled since I did it while I was also telling her that I couldn't make our scheduled appt. Part of me feels badly for cancelling, and then there is the fact that she said she 'feels it's important for me to continue my therapy', and the other part of me feels a little irritated by the fact that she doesn't realize that I have so many things going on right now that going to therapy is actually more of a burden than a help. In light of that is also the fact that I have to wait to see my p-doc for meds. (Though, I just left a message seeing if I could get a refill on my prescription over the phone...)
I guess I'm just a bit exhausted by this whole reinvention process. And don't really feel I have the support of my therapist. I do like her. I feel like she's honest, and helpful... but on the other hand she is also ... ummmm... well... not exactly nurturing. The thing is that she wants me to tell her if she feels I'm viewing her as being judgmental, and the fact is that right now I do. But I also feel like there's this dividing line between her helping me and me paying her. And I'm not quite sure where that line is and I'm finding that highly confusing.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted Today 10:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi redshoe
Reading between the lines it seems that while you are 'busy, busy, busy' you are feeling much better - which is great! :)
Getting the right therapist is soo important - you need to be able to relate to them and have an understanding between the two of you..she has left the ball in your court really - if she 'is' too judgemental - then tell her and maybe she will back off a little and you will come to a better understanding. The only prob that I see between now and your next appt. is 'christmas' eeek - but I dare say if you manage to get your meds you will survive eh?
Good luck, and remember you are in charge of your own health..and you have to do what you makes you feel the most comfortable.

Take good care.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 11/20/2006 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   

always remember that you are the one who is paying so you must remain the boss

A GP doc will usually prescribe the meds you get from the psych

recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/20/2006 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I so agree with both Maree and Harry here
You are paying her BUT she did ask you if she was being judgemental to tell her
you feel she is soooo tell her she needs to hear this sometimes although you get on with them real well they take things and ppl for granted demanding what they feel " is best : for that person
I personally have noticed a big change in you and I wish you all the very best

Sometimes the "God Complex " has to be brought into perspective I am not saying she is that way BUT there are way to many out there that think that way
Luckily for me my doc is not like that and he is not just family doc he is my confidant my therapist and my doctor
He has been the beast thing that could have happened to me 'He also was the one that finally got my DX of crohns and got me feling loads better about many things ..........
IF I cannot make it to his office due to crohns flare or Pyoderma flare he will come here

Post and let us know how you make out but again I would be telling her truthfully about the "judgemental thing " if it were I ...........
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 11/21/2006 4:57 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Redshoe,

I understand you feeling the time pressure of all the things you have going on right now.  However, this really isn't a good time for you to sacrifice your therapy time.  The holiday season is stressful enough, but adding a home relocation and a new job on top of it, dropping your therapy support system, even if a little sketchy, is probably not a very good idea to make it through this transition with your sanity intact.

Feeling guilty about having to cancel an appointment, indicates that you put your therapist's "feelings" before your own.  A therapist is a professional, their "feelings" are irrelavant.  Appointments in any professional field need to be cancelled on occasion.  Things happen, that's just the way it is.  However, you need to realize that if you have a standing appointment day/time, to cancel this for an extended period of time leaves an opening that a therapist my very well fill with a new patient.  Expecting to get your time slot back probably isn't likely to happen, as it has been filled by someone else.  If you stay with the same therapist, you may have to take whatever appointment time is available.  This very well may not be convenient with your new job.

By your description of your therapist, I would definitely look for a new one after things settle down, after the first of the year.  If a therapist mentioned that they might be seen as "judgemental", they probably are and you should dump them immediately.  You should always feel comfortable being able to talk about any subject with your therapist, without the fear of what your therapist might think.  A good therapist should be able to give you suggestions on coping mechanisms, not critiques or criticisms.  See if you can get a recommendation from your physician and give them a shot.  It may take a while to find a therapist that is the right "fit".

GOOD LUCK.  Let us know you are doing.

Leigh Ann cool

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 11/28/2006 10:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your replies. One of my biggest issues is my need to please others and it's true that I often put other people's opinions/thoughts/feelings before my own. My therapist is definitely trying to break me of that habit, tho on occasion (such as this one) I feel a little nonplussed by her tone when I can't do something she thinks I should.

I know that I should go to therapy. I know that in the long run it will help. I'm just not sure how I should feel about going to therapy. I don't dislike it, but I do feel sometimes that it's more of a burden than a help (but then I also feel like the way I feel is a burden!) It's pretty similar to my meds. I know they help, but when the results are gradual or not noticable it's difficult for me to know if it's working!
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