Salty tears threaten my numb soul.
I despise what this has become,
tears flood my eyes.
this can't be undone.
I want to escape,
but can't find a way out,
I want to know why
I'm the one to suffer with this.
Why did I deserve this God?
Was this some awful punishment?
Was it for enlightenment?
I've had this since a child,
isn't it about
time for it to be over with?
I have suffered so long,
and am miserable.
They say God lays nothing before you
that you can't handle,
but I am beginning to have my doubts.
Loneliness treads in my wake,
as my friends leave me behind,
confused with the disorder I suffer with.
They can't understand what
I sometimes I can't understand,
yet I know this is real,
although the derealization makes it seem not so,
and wish I could pull through,
but I have my doubts,
I can ever get past this.
I hope one day,
God will lay His hand upon my shoulder,
this was all for a purpose.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."
DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
RX: Ativan/Lorazapam (1 MG a day), Lexapro (15 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines